-The 12th Avenue-

2008-08-01T16:10:00.002+08:00

Dear cousin ...

On the 26th of July, 2008, you locked yourself up in your room in Banjarmasin, Indonesia, and you took your own life,

Just a short week ago, you were still in Singapore, and we were chatting and watching YouTube videos in Ah Mah's house. For meals, we often ate the same food on the same dinner table. You asked me some computer upgrading issues, and I suggested that you scour Sim Lim for the answer. Everytime I visited Ah Mah's house last month, you were either sitting on the living room floor playing PS, or in the room using your laptop.

Before you left for Jakarta, you bidded me goodbye on msn. I asked when you'll be returning again, and you told me in 3 months time. That turned out to be a lie ... intentionally or unintentionally. Now that I think of it ... it may be the first time you bidded me goodbye on msn... it has also come to be the last.

We've spent a good part of our childhoods together in Jakarta, mainly playing video games. You were a great companion and elder brother to me. As we aged ... our paths diverted, as I walked my own path in Singapore. I still see you once in a while, though we weren't as close as before. I guess that's really a part of growing up. I am not as close to any of my cousins as I were before ... but at the back of my mind, I know that everyone is safe and well. That knowledge is enough for me.

I was told later on that you tried to contact all of our cousins before your departure to Indonesia. That's really a first ... but no one suspected anything unusual.

You rascal. Did you have it all planned..?

You were really the wrongest person to go. You were only 26, a year older than me. You are the most likely champion among the cousins to take over Grandpa's empire to an extent... and you even have marriage plans in place with a beautiful fiancee. I met her in Banjarmasin, she's so pretty ... and patient as well. I envied you, how could you have left her and us behind? Your death is so surreal, and it's just so wrong. I can't accept it ... I refuse to accept it.

Now that you're gone, my mornings seem so different somehow. Something seems to always be missing when i wake up in the day, and a part of me feels wrong. Its without doubt caused by the vacancy you've created in my soul when you left this world.

Our family has perhaps done you much wrong through your 26 years of living. You do not have loving parents who's always around to care and love for you. Many times, you were pretty much on your own. And yet, never once you revealed to us the sorrow you must have felt within. You're always full of smiles and jokes ... and perhaps that's why everyone assumed you're ok. Whatever's on your mind ... just know that you were never alone. You were never an outsider and you are always a precious puzzle piece that makes up our complete family. I don't often say such things to family members ... but i mean it.

Despite all the wrongs we might have caused, you left behind much goodness for us on your departure. For the first time in history, our family reunited in Banjarmasin to tour our grandfather's heritage. Intan Wijaya, our heritage which I have always heard but never seen. It's simply astonishing ... beyond belief, that our family name actually has such a huge impact on the Indonesian economy. The whole stretch of land, docks, ships, all under our name.

You have provided me a huge motivational and inspirational boost to not let down our family name... to reach for greater thing, and bring the Tanmizi name to an even higher level. Thanks to you as well, my mom and Ah Mah are now on better terms. To think they've been on bitter ends just last month... Also thanks to you, many of our employees are now able to meet their high level employers in an official company dinner on the night before we left Banjarmasin ... the first time in 16 years.

I miss you Nov ...
I'll never see you again.
Just 2 weeks back, we were still under the same roof.
Now, your separated from the mortal realm.

I cannot accept it. I refuse to accept it.
I didn't come to think that you'll be the first to shatter my heart in my whole 25 years of living.
The first to devastate me to such an extent ...

... i dunno what else to say. It's like a nightmare I can't wake up from.

Wherever you are ... I hope you are finally at peace, without worries nor sorrow.
Please be happy ... don't let our tears go to waste.
Take care of yourself ... and please watch over those whom you left behind in this cruel world.

Goodnight, Sweet Prince.

I miss you ... I love you.

let this blog finally be laid to rest, but let your memories be never forgotten.

...

2007-08-04T01:52:00.000+08:00

别管以后将如何结束
至少我们曾经相聚过
不必费心地彼此约束
更不需要言语的承诺

只要我们曾经拥有过
对你我来讲已经足够
人的一生有许多回忆
只愿你的追忆有个我

It never rains, it storms.
When bad things happen to me, they come all at once ...
The worse thing is that it involves some of the closest person around me.

And the worst thing is that the people closest to me, doesn't seem to care. thanks

Janus Janus Janus

2007-07-11T14:58:00.000+08:00

Janus' laptop has been sent for repairs for a week or so.

Janus won't be able to log in to facebook for a week or so.

Janus won't be able to update his blog unless his collegue goes for a shit, then he can take over his laptop. (as is the case now)

Janus is thinking he should crash Union Camp either Thursday or Friday (Double O)!

Janus went Kbox to sing song drink honey lemon eat tidbits with girl-girl for 5 hours yesterday.

Janus sang a few oldies at his internship company (DSI) Karaoke Day today.

Janus thinks his name is cool.

Janus has an evil girlfriend.

Janus loves fish.

Janus is mooning at you.

Janus is looking for gymming khakis. 6pm on weekdays NUS gym.

Concordantly, vis-a-vis, ergo

Rambles

2007-07-09T13:17:00.000+08:00

Janus is the proud owner of a PLAYSTATION 2 !!!

Helloooooo all-the-nice-RPG-games-that-have-been-released-over-the-past-7-years!!!

Good Byeeee life!!!

****************************

ah hem ...

So i sacrificed one of my gym sessions last week, and head over to Sim Lim Square for my PS2 console. I wanted a cheap set ... (and probably so does the rest of the world). But no, i mean ... cheap, as in really really cheap, maybe even dirt cheap, but just cheap. I'm not gonna game hunt, but already have a few games in mind that i really want to complete. The God of War series, the Final Fantasy series, the Kingdom Hearts series, blah blah.

So that's why i want a cheap set.

From my research, the old PS2 console (the big bulky version) has been discontinued by Sony, and is replaced by the new PS2 Slim. I asked all the Ah Beng shopkeepers in Sim Lim. Most of them only look tough, but I doubt many know their stuffs ... I even saw one swinging around a Nintendo Wii controller playing a tennis video game. He actually played quite well, must have trained up during all those hooting sessions. Very cool to see his Ang Kong moving around like that so professionally. It cost $230 for a modified PS2 Slim, and from what I've been told ... it needs an external cooling fan. That fan cost $30, woopee ... so it's like, $260 ++.

Is $260 anywhere near cheap? Anwer: No. It's not cheap, it's ex and its dear ... and its ridiculous. Sony sucks, and the CEO deserves to burn in hell.

After scanning the entire Sim Lim Square complex, i found a shop that still carries a couple of the old PS2 console. They're first hand, but problem is ... it ain't new either. The shopkeeper has been using it as a window display item for about one million years. It's dusty dusty dusty.

I manage to get it for $170, and spent another $30 for a memory card. Is that cheap? Answer: No. But whatever, at least i don't have to worry about getting a fan.

************************

Went over to grandma's house late Friday to learn her secret recipe for the Yellow Ginger Chicken (黄姜饭) which sold so well during the NUS PRU FLV bazaar.

*by the way, i'm offering catering service for the above dish. Contact me if interested ... not that i expect anyone to actually bother about it.*

Friday, went over to Jocelyn house to watch Shrek 3 in a super lousy quality. Evening went to JB to celebrate Mervin and Hee Wei's birthday.

Sunday come home, and attended Shan Shan and Jeff's commencement ceremony. Its a rather heartwarming scene, seeing everyone wearing the square cap and all. Graduation is really a big deal, i feel, as opposed to what my silly girl friend thinks.

Like what I always told my frieshies during the FIC ceremony,

"Your journey will start at your Inauguration Ceremony, and end at your Commencement Ceremony".

Hmm ...

*************************

There're many things in life that doesn't actually NEED to be done. In other words ... even if it's not done, life still goes on normally for you, and it'll be neither better nor worse.

For instance, you don't really need to smile at the shopkeeper when you buy something from him/her. You don't really need thank the guy at the petrol kiosk for cleaning your windscreen (it's their job after all). You don't really need to wave thanks to the guy who slowed his vehicle just so that you can cut into a carline.

Yeah ... there're many things in life that really doesn't need to be done.

So the big question is ... will you still do it?

And if yes is your answer, why will you choose to do it? When you can blissfully ignore it and save a few seconds of your life?

Here's my answer: It may not make us much better or worse, but it definately makes others feel better. The story of a man's life doesn't only include the man himself, but also that of others around him. No matter how little, the fates of people are quite often interwined.

So to those who keep asking me "Why Bother?" in one way or another ...

Here's my answer to you : "Bllleeaaahhhhh. Phhhtt."

peace out.

Just Another Post

2007-07-04T11:26:00.000+08:00

The time is 11.27pm. I'm at work now in DSI ... and it's almost lunch time. There's too little time to do anything useful before i grab my chow in the engine canteen, so I might as well use this short time to blog a little ... not that i expect anyone to read it. After my unpredicatable pauses in the intervals whereby i update my blog, I won't be surprised if my readers have all but dissipitated.

Oh whatever ... at least i know I have good ol FZK to check out my shit whenever he's too bored at work ... but i certainly hope that bugger will tag me more often.

And there's little Jocelyn who pops over to this webbie whenever she 's waiting for her bacterias to mass-produce and lay eggs or whatsoever.

I've made a big decision today ... biggest financial decision I've made for my own personal leisure. ($200 for my retainers and $150 for car repairs are necessary expenses ... and not for personal leisure). After work today at 6pm, first i'm gonna pick up girl-girl and then we'll head down to Parkway Parade ... and I'm gonna get myself a ...

* drumrolls *

PLAYSTATION 2 !!!

weeee .... not a brand new one though, but a 2nd hand one. My budget will be around $130, I just wanna get it to finish up on a few RPG and RTS games ... After watching my cousins play God of War II on PS2, I'm finally convinced that I want a set. Woopee ~~~

I pondered about getting a brand new PS3, which comes at around $800. That way, I can play both PS2 and PS3 games, instead of sticking to PS2 games before i upgrade to PS3 3 or 4 years later when the price drops.

However ... i decided against that ... firstly to limit my leisure freedom becoz of the upcoming academic year, and secondly coz I'm not really game-hunting ... but rather already have a few games in mind that i really wanna play, namely God of War and Kingdom Hearts. That's why i will settle for nothing more than a cheap set.

*lunch break*

back ... girl-girl looks a bit sian1/2, coz i only managed to pei her for half hour eating in Engine Canteen. I messaged i have 1 hour plus lunch break, and arranged to meet her at 12.15pm ... assuming my colleagues and I reach there around that time. However, I estimated wrongly, and our lab actually went for lunch at 11.45pm. I ended up eating a 40 cents prata while waiting for girl-girl to arrive. Met girl-girl at 12.20pm, but by then i only have around 30min for lunch ... starting the count from 11.45pm. So that's why 30min ...

and i had a $1.80 Bak Chor Mee for lunch. Forgot to tell the Aunty i don't want Tao Geh.

found a picture of 鸡鸡 in my "received files" folder ...

My good buddies gave it to me at the airport when i was leaving for Philippines for my Overseas Community Project. I didn't bring it back though, but left it in the care of my foster family in Philippines as a token of my appreciation for their care.

I remember saying,
"I wanna leave a piece of myself here, so I'll leave 鸡鸡 here with you guys"

Now that i think of it ... i kinda miss it. And I miss "her" too.

...

alrighty, back to work.

Ode to Mee Fen

2007-06-28T00:44:00.000+08:00

People out there got famous singing about mice, rats, cockroaches, lizards, mosquitos etc etc.

And so ... i ask, why not a song about meefen?

Here's an ingenious creation from the mind of a talented pet namer.

Sing it out at a rate of approximately 2 words per second

The Meefeen Song (米粉歌）

作曲：Janus 歌词：Janus

meefen meefen not a normal meefen very special meefen not like normal meefen yummy meefen yumyum meefen i love meefen meefen meefen stylo meefen mylo meefen mix with milo meefen don't want meekia i want meefen i hate meepok i like meefen i hate bee hoon i crave meefen meefen meefen meesiam is crap i eat meefen meesua not nice i love meefen i want meefen meefen meefen not for Aiur but for meefen not for glory let's eat meefen i hate tau geh go chiong meefen don't buy zerglings spend on meefen meefen meefen army no use coz no meefen don't drink tiger go eat meefen don't smoke cigarette go suck meefen lunch break later go buy meefen working that time should think meefen sleeping also must dream meefen don't want girlfren prefer meefen don't want prata i want meefen gahmen pay rise to buy meefen bangla come work to try meefen meefen meefen XO meefen yu pian meefen curry meefen ice-cream meefen halal meefen homemade meefen gourmet meefen world-peace meefen meefen meefen yay.

- 完 -

Nice? By the way, guess what I had for dinner today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~XO meefen!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

how'd you guess?

We still feel rather restless after downing the $20 meefen from Holland V, probably due to the XO they put inside. So we went Settler's Cafe to settle down and play shares.

For the Lame and the Bored

2007-06-26T22:54:00.000+08:00

the last time I put up a post, policemen still wearing shorts. long long long long time ago, about 12B.C.

Anyways, determined not to let another of his blog space get frozen up with discontinuity, the author has decided to post up wadever crap shit that came up in his twisted mind.

Eh Hem ... today I'm gonna talk about my most recent facination. It's none other than my virtual pets. My supervisors at DSI gave me this Fish game which comes with a fish tank screen saver. You play by dropping fish food into the tank to feed the fishies whose stomach empties in a matter of seconds... once in a while aliens will invade your tank to eat them fishies, and u'll have to fire lasers to nail the aliens. As you progress, more and more weird marine life comes into play. There's piranhas that eats small fishies, and ultra-piranhas that eat ordinary piranhas, jumping crabs which eat small fishies, and buggy munchers which eats yellow ladybugs ... oh yah, and did I mention the octopussy that eats stars? Yeah that too.

yada yada yada yada, rah rah rah rah

This is my dear fish tank screen saver. Those chicken-like thingies are pregnant fishes which gives birth to darling small fishies which will become food to Luo-Han-Yu and Steve Jobbs. Steve Jobbs will release yellow ladybuggs to feed Bill Gates. And Bill Gates will drop money to the bottom of the tank, which will be collected by stinky the snail. The money will then be spent by the royal me, thy master o fishie tank. Now that's what i call a food chain.

Next. I adopted a turtle pet in facebook. (By the way, those who know me, do add me to your facebook account. My ID is Janus Ong). It's a turtle, probably a reptile. Its green, its got a shell and it crawls on 4 legs ... so it's a turtle.

Yeah so its green ... and so i gave it a green-ey name. Meet Wasabee the turtle. Uber nice name right? Im a talented pet namer. My sister named her cow Mooie, and my friend named her penguin Sanguine and Weilun named his giraffe giffy. Wooooo..... Both names have something to do with the host creature. Cows go mooooooo and "guine" sounds like "guin" from "penguin", same for the giraffe. So unoriginal, hee. Whist wasabee, has nothing important associated with turtles. Wasabe isn't made from turtles, and turtle jelly isn't made from wasabe.
The only distance association is its colour.

Its instruction manual says that its head is so big that it cant hide inside its own shell. I can see that. Poor wasabe...

Ok that's enough random thoughts for now. I need to go sleep now, else i'll be late to feed the fishies tomorrow morning.

Foiled

2007-03-27T02:18:00.000+08:00

He forms an alliance with the wise owl, the diligent mongoose and the practical roadrunner, to realize a dream of overthrowing the gorilla from his reign of terror. Everyone gathered at the Owl's home, where the team toiled day and night, tirelessly planning out their coup and stratergies for the assault.

There was a lot of things to be done, a lot of kinks to work out. Nothing should go wrong, and their spirit were high. They purchased weapons and equipment they think crucial for their scheme, and with some gathered materials they made even more weapons.

Today is the chosen day for the confrontation ... yet on the battlefield, the team's defense faltered. Weapons once taught flawless now failed to work. It was raining ... and everyone's equipment were drenched. Everything went haywire ... and the situation became chaotic. They crossed eyes with the gorilla, but decided they can't take him on on that day ...

He wondered why all the other team's stratergies worked well, but not his ... despite the fact that his team has put in so much effort into planning and organizing. Is it the spider omen the night before, or is it because of the roadrunner's absence for a while due to some personal matters. The owl commented that it's easy to blame ... and he's right. We should move on ... it's everyone's fault if need be. We just have to do it better the next time.

standing

2007-03-21T02:39:00.000+08:00

he stood motionless in the field, staring blankly into the sky.

gatherings of birds flew by him, chirping, soaring, dancing in the air, among the clouds that slowly floated along.

He stood, and he stared in silence. Dawn turns to dusk, and dusk turns to dawn. Over and over again, the routine repeats.

Day after day, the grass on his feet grew tall. From his ankles to his shin to his knees. He couldn't move ... not with the dense undergrowth accumulating around.

Born with legs to run, and wings to soar, yet every movement sends a sharp prick into him. Occasionally, he endures the pain and takes a few steps around. Most of the time, however ... he stood rooted.

Above him, the birds still soared ... dancing merrily with worries hidden from him. He wonders if they are mocking his immobility, and constantly tries to shrug that thought away. He bit his tongue, and curses his imagination. He still misses the worriless times when he soared together with the birds. Now, there seem to be an ever-widening gap between them, as the birds flew higher and further away from the ground.

He makes friends with some other creatures around him ... and takes comfort in their pressence. The owl is always there, and so is the mongoose. He can't see the fish, but his murmuring voices are often heard from deep beneath the ocean, although the sound takes a long time to reach the surface. He doesn't talk much to the bear, but knows that he will be there for him ... A dove has also landed on his shoulder from the skies, a company which he truely enjoys.

He believes if he stands long enough, the undergrowth beneath will grow a massive height. Saplings to trees, reaching towards the limitless skies, and the roots extending to vast lands.

Then, he can finally make his climb towards the heavens, higher than any bird has ever flown, further than any man has ever known.

But for now, he stood.

blue

2007-01-27T02:07:00.000+08:00

i miss the sky ...
i miss the raindrops ...

Let me once again feel the gentle wind upon my face

:)

wealth

2007-01-09T02:33:00.000+08:00

fine.

My family's more well-off than the average household.

Quite often i talked about how i like to indulge in stuffs regardless of the price, as long as its worth it.

And unlike the "average guy-next door", i own a f**kin car.

Must that extra wealth be a source of alienation of me from the world?
Just coz I'm visiting a nice restaurant, its coz "everyone else is not as rich as me" ?
Must that "rich" punchline always come in at the end of sentences that doesn't go in your favour?

Just coz I've got more moolah in my pocket, it means I'm less human than everyone else?

I've seen how money can lift people off the ground so much that they forgot what the Earth looks like. I resent that, and I've worked my life making sure i don't become like them. Whenever I can, i hide about my financial background. I train myself to not look down on people, but to look up to people. I keep my finances tight, unless special occasions call for extra expenditure.

All these, just for people to pour sarcasms on me coz "some people is not as rich as me".

thanks.
know what sunshine? Fuck you.

Jan 5th

2007-01-07T03:11:00.000+08:00

Entrance into Sentosa plus Parking, $7.00

Luge Ride and Skyride, $16.00

Ben & Jerry's ice cream, $7.50

Sharing a cone with a silly girl, PRICELESS

There're many moments in one's life that can't be described with mere words ...
I guess this is one of them.

Jan 4th

2007-01-05T02:14:00.000+08:00

And the Best Friend of the Day Award goes to .......

*drumroll*

The Sashimi and Sushi from Maru Maru Japanese Restaurant!!

Went there to enlighten my tummy with Kelvin and Jeremiah in the afternoon. Sadly, the Master Chef is on leave, and the apprentice in charge doesn't make good sushis. The rice balls are too soft, and fell apart before we can feed them to our mouths. Disgrace!!

Ohhhh ~~~ the pain of it all!

3pm, headed to National Dental Centre. Im finally removing my braces!! Yippee!!

It's been soooooo bloody long since my tongue can feel the smooth surface of my front teeth.

It simply feels great.

finally now i can ...

Talk without mumbling
Talk un-muffledly
Sing loudly
Pronounce words sharply
Not rinse my mouth after every meal
Not dig my mouth for leftover food stuck in my braces
Not brush my teeth in the morning and at night.

OK, the last one's a joke. =))

The rain came down pretty hard after that. Went over to Orchard to meet Joc, to offer my arms for carrying her laptop and shopping goodies. Then the bloody birds bombed Xiaohui.

3rd January

2007-01-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

Best Friend of the Day : All American Mushroom Cheese burger

7 for presentation

5 for taste

in short, i should have ordered the salad

my beloved ...

2007-01-03T01:39:00.000+08:00

Was at the airport just now, my aunt's flying back to France after her annual visit to Singapore. Sadly, she can't stay to celebrate Chinese New Year with us this year.

Man, she's really one heck of a high flyer ... the Head of Human Resource of the United Nations!! She used to work directly under Secretary General Anan before he retired, and she's like taking in a whooping $16,000 per month! Maybe I really should start getting close to her and establish my status as her favourite nephew. Then maybe, just maybe, I will be able to get my hands on a Playstation 3 console, with a couple of Nintendo Wii to go along.

None of my family members have their roots in Singapore, and we all came from Jakarta, Indonesia, to this sunny island for one reason or another during the early years. My aunts all work overseas in a variety of different occupation, and thus going to the airport to send off a particular family member has become quite a ritual to us.

At the departure gate, we saw a couple of kids crying uncontrollably as they witnessed their beloved relatives walk into the departure area. Their parents were carrying them, and on their arms the children stared with teary eyes as their relatives went further and further away. Still sobbing, they waved their goodbyes. We all smiled at the scene, and my aunt talked about how I used to be like them whenever my cousins leave Singapore after their vacation. We all laughed a little at her remark.

The next thing i knew ... she broke down. She began to fumble with her words, and her face turned red ... tears flowed down her cheeks as she hugged my grandma and grandpa goodbye. My grandma joined her in tears ... and my other aunt began distributing tissue papers to them. I wasn't really expecting this scene, and it really wrenched my heart. I may have the good fortune of seeing my parents and grandparents daily, but for my busy aunt ... once a year is all she can afford to visit her own parents.

I'll feel horrible if I were in her shoes, especially when my parents are already old. Come to think of it, perhaps that's why I didn't think of going overseas to study and settled for NUS instead. My sister's already schooling in Australia, and I don't want my mom to be alone.

Foolish she said, but at least I'm spending time with everyone. =)

****************

Oh my God!!!

You came back!!

And such an unexpected return!!

I missed you so much my dear ... ever since the day we parted a few weeks back. I especially miss the times when we're spending time watching TV together in my living room. It does bring back fond memories doesn't it? Although there weren't many good programs on air, your company is all i need. i crave the tender texture of your skin ... and the sweetness of your gloss once again. Our touch feels like magic, undescribable by words. I briefly introduced you to my best friends, Weihao and Kelvin, although then we didn't have the time to talk for long.

Soon after that ... you disappeared.

I honestly thought I was never going to see you again... I was kinda crushed for a while.

And then unexpectedly, my sis actually discovered you in Indonesia!! And she even brought you back home with her!

I'm so so so so so happy we're reunited again ... we have much to catch up on!

I love you! Krispy Kreme Donuts!!!

Happy New Year 2007!!

2007-01-02T02:06:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year to whoever's still reading my blog.

Haven been updating regularly am i? I wun be surpised if my inherent laziness has scared off 80% of my blog readers... oh well.

Today's the 1st day of Year 2007. I spent it rather meaningfully by playing LAN games with Jiemin and Weihao at Katong Shopping Centre. Blasted tanks, launched missles, fragged both friends and foes ... those kinda things. Was glued to the computer screen throughout like a lifeless worm. If I hadn't recall wrongly, i think i spent the 1st day of last year this way as well, fragging lifeless individuals using my keyboard and mouse. Id probably be doing the same next year too, lol. Tradition under construction, hell yeah.

Had a steamboat dinner appointment with Ben, Elsa and Tongcai at 7pm. I decided to return my rented DVDs to Video-Ezy along the way at Serangoon Gardens before proceeding to the steamboat restaurant. I checked the street directory beforehand to find a short cut that connect the 2 places. In the end I got hopelessly lost with Xiaohui, and arrived at the steamboat place only near 8pm. And Weihao couldn't pick a better time to irritate me, by bombarding my mobile phone with 10+ crap messages along the way ... to haolian to me he got 1000 free sms-es.

Death to the phone companies!

The steamboat wasn't really very nice ... in fact i felt the food was rather bland, espeially the meat. However, the people scenery there is something else. We were told to take no more than 2 hours to eat, but we left only at 10.30pm after we have had enuff fun with the soup remains.

So we went home, and i got lost again with Xiaohui. Im supposed to turn into Serangoon Road, but ended up heading to Bukit Timah Road ... then Thompson Road.

Im such a wonderful driver, the Government just didn't make the roads right.
I love Xiaohui.

cryhaven

2006-12-20T03:37:00.000+08:00

I went gymming in the afternoon, kinda a last minute decision before heading to Orchard at night. Surprisingly, Weehou agreed to join me despite my very last minute jio-ing.

While we're busy beefing up ourselves up, the sky teared. The rain came down so heavily many gymmers were stuck outside the stadium waiting for the rain to stop, including those with umbrellas. Xiaohui was parked quite a distance away from the shelter ... and so was Weehou's bike, so we waited for around 15min for the rain to lighten up. It didn't. I'm running late, so I handed Weehou all my stuffs, and ran through the rain to Xiaohui.

Upon reaching Xiaohui, the bloody rain stopped ... and I was drenched like a soggy bread. I looked at the shelter where i ran from ... and Weehou was balonglong casually walking towards me. Wah Lan, i really feel like whacking him with the umbrella i just took out from Xiaohui's boot. But no lah ... it ain't his fault, right? After all he doesn't control the weather, but there's no way i can reach the rainclouds to whack it either. Besides, his bulging muscles doesn't make that a very wise decision.

I was drenched all over ... and to think I've just showered in the gym and changed into my outdoor clothes. Jesus ...

I drove to Orchard ... and the road was super jammed ... even worse than the peak hour jams on the expressway. I'm already 15min late ... felt very very bad making my friend wait for me.

Finally ... i reached the Cenileisure open air carpark. Parked my car ... and while i was tearing the coupons, i heard a loud bang and Xiaohui shook a little. I looked to my left and realised the driver to my left has opened his door into Xiaohui's left door. Furious, i wind down the window..

Me: "Excuse me, you knocked my car door?!"

Him: "Sorry Sorry! A little bit only!"

I got off Xiaohui, and stepped into a puddle of water ... my shoes were drenched again... Got even more frustrated... and I went over and inspected Xiaohui. There seemed to be no damage.

Him: "Sorry Sorry, not purposely one. Only hit slightly!"

Me: "Slightly also is damage on my car right?! Then how?"

I looked again, and confirmed there's no damage ...

Me: "Please be more careful next time ... "

Him: "Sorry Sorry, you want my IC number?"

Me: "Nah, it's ok."

Him: "Erm, sorry ... but can you tell me how to get to Ngee Ann City?"

I suddenlly felt thunder echoing all over my brain ... really felt like whacking that guy.

Me: "Just .... walk behind that building, and go all the way..."

Him: "Thank You Thank You!"

i walked back to Xiaohui and got into the driver seat ... locked the doors.
The rain was still pouring outside, droplets clanking all over Xiaohui's body.

I closed my eyes, hands clutched on the steering wheel tight. I rammed my head repeatedly on the wheel ... and breathed deep.

The day just cant get any worse ...

It just cant ...

...

...

...

Heard a voice, a gentle calling. Opened my eyes, and everything was still ...
I was looking into the eyes of an angel.
She wore a sweet smile that gleamed with warmth.
Wavy hair flowing down to her shoulders.
I might be dead ... but I still breathed.
We briefly touched ... It felt like magic.

Then ... the sky was dark no more.

Ordeal's End

2006-12-04T03:20:00.000+08:00

They say time flies when your enjoying yourself ... but apparently it flew too when we're slogging for exams. Just 3 weeks ago i was bitching and complaining to everyone about the lack of time we have this semester to prepare, and now i'm only a day away from my final paper. Not to mention that almost all of my friends are already done with their ordeal, and a handful of them are probably already halfway across the world.

As usual, i made a mental list of what I'm gonna do or embark on after my last paper on Tuesday. Then again, rarely did i actually make the effort to realise them. Till now I still haven't give Xiaohui a good waxdown, or designed that funky car decal for his bonnet. Blah blah blah ... Anyways, Im pretty glad that I'll be flying off to Australia 3 days after my last paper to attend my sister's graduation ceremony. I seriously need a breather away from this infernal country.

I'm coming back only in the 16th, so if you can't reach me for kopi/teh/supper/mambo whatever, now you know why. Sorry Hongwei, guess we'll chill out sometime close before Chirstmas ya? Yeah, and Kelvin's still waiting for a good sushi meal together.

Have spoke to Siyong about a good PRU Reunion Xmas gathering. Maybe we should organise one this year, seeing that so many of us are graduating soon. A good celebration for all we've given (and not given) for fun, love, peace and joy. We'll book a huge function room somewhere, set up a nice Xmas tree, blast Xmas rock music, order an old English style Xmas dinner with turkey and ham ... and finally have a presents exchange session. Haha, that'll be so cool, and we can even hire KC to become the Santa Claus. Then maybe LiRuo can be Mrs Claus and we can watch them bicker among themselves.

Then soon it'll be CNY ... and I'll be organizing the annual Tuan Yuan Fan for the MSHS gang again. So make sure you're around peeps ... and this time, bring your GFs. And those with GF must give Ang Paos, else we'll drown you with the Fa Cai Yu Sheng.

*winks at Mel*

K la thinking too far liao. Still got a paper to finish before i'm out of the cage.
It's 3.40am now, and life is good.

=)

Life

2006-11-20T02:34:00.000+08:00

I need a life, where got sell?

yay, I love studying. It is my favourite hobby, and Issac Newton is my idol.

Time Spiral

2006-11-14T01:34:00.000+08:00

it's already the 14th of November ...
2 weeks more, Janus will be taking his first paper.
It's terrible, time flies so fast when you're wasting your life away in school.
Yet, time is what he needs most to prepare for the examinations.
He doesn't have time, pressure is building up, the tension level is insane.
Just a while ago it's 12pm, now the clock's at 1.30am

What the fuck ...

Janus leaned back on his seat letting out a heavy sigh, his notes stacked up high on his study desk.

He glanced at the clock on the wall ...

he stretched out his right arm in the direction of the clock, palm outstretched.
Eyes closed, he focused hard. He pictured the clock in his mind, every bit of detail he can possibly recall. Drawing upon his mana reserve, he directed the potent energy into his outstretched palm. A cool sensation of pure energy poured into his arm. He closed his hand and pointed a finger at the clock ... and began drawing imaginary circles in the air, anti-clockwise direction. As his finger worked, he pictured in his mind an image of the clock's hands rewinding ...

Seconds came back ... then minutes ... and then hours.

Finally, he stopped.

When he opened his eye, the sky was bright again ... and the clock showed 12.35pm.

The spell worked ... but Janus was spent from the effort. He shall now take a short nap to regain his strength, and then he'd continue mugging again.

**********

back to reality ... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH no time no time!!!

die die die die die!!!

mug mug mug mug mug!!!

Walawalawalawala bang bang bang bang ORD LOH!!!!!

Stupid lecturers, so late liao still teaching things, giving test and giving projects.

Nin Na Bei Nao Hiah, Na Bei Boon Lei.

Hope the OHP and Visualisers explode in your face.

夜空。希望。翅膀

2006-11-11T03:26:00.000+08:00

星光总爱在天色最暗的时刻闪烁得最灿烂迷人.

即使它的光芒是多么的薄弱，它仍然挂在天边，给沉睡的大地带来暗淡的光亮。

一闪一闪的，直到太阳升起为止，曙光照遍一切。

*****

这似乎象征着无望之中的希望。

无论前方的路看起来有多黑暗凄迷，

只要不放弃，就有一丝希望存在。

他人越看不起你，就应站的越直给大家看。

*****

执着的人都拥有一双隐形翅膀。

在漆黑的夜空中展翅高翔。

*****

Realizations

2006-11-05T00:22:00.000+08:00

Realizations 101

1. Janus loves to munch on brocolli.

2. Janus' sister is afraid of fishes.

3. Listerine mouth wash is not meant to be swallowed after use.

4. Kaihong is not Janus' long lost brother, Xiaohui is

end of realizations.

Chow Mugger

2006-10-31T01:56:00.000+08:00

Detailed Defination of a Chow Mugger:

A Chow Mugger is defined as one who doesn't believe in anything else other than studying. He lives to study, piah tutorials, and watch webcasts. The Chow Mugger doesn't believe in bathing, taking showers, or brushing his teeth as it is a waste of time to him. The time can be better spent on reading an extra page of textbook instead. Studying is the first thing he does in the morning and the last thing he does at night. He doesn't change his clothes daily, and he has bad breath. That's why he's so smelly, thus came the prefix "Chow" which means "smelly" in Chinese.

The Chow Mugger doesn't believe in eating, cause it is simply a tragic waste of precious time. The time spent to finish a plate of Chicken Rice can be better spent on memorizing an extra set of equations. However, the Chow Mugger is still a human, and he runs on energy. Therefore, he consumes his meals from a mug. A mug of Milo for breakfast, a mug of instant cereal for Lunch, a mug of Instant Soup Mix for dinner, and maybe some mugs of warm milk for supper. And hence comes the postfix "Mugger", since the mug is the only thing he ever holds other than his stationeries. To avoid wasting time, he doesn't wash his mug after every use. The remnants of what he consumed last week are still dotted all over his mug, and it stinks of the contents which it used to hold.

Therefore, we have the full term "Chow Mugger"

Are you a Chow Mugger?

Cookbooks by Engineers

2006-10-25T01:12:00.000+08:00

Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies:

Ingredients:
1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

Directions:
1: To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation.

2: In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous.

3: To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1.

4: Additionally, add ingredients nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.

5: Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm).

6: Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

HAHAHA!

Behind Life

2006-10-22T02:25:00.000+08:00

Many have approached me to ask ...

"What's the meaning in life? "

Here's my answer in 2 simple words ... both starting with "C"

That's sure to bring a satisfied smile to your face.

Scroll down ...

...

....

.....

......

.......

........

.........

..........

...........

............

.............

..............

...............

..............

.............

............

...........

.........

........

.......

......

.....

....

...

Chilli Crab !!!

Your Smiling Aren't Ya???

Hahahahaha!

Damn!!

What is Life without these glorious crustaceans?

Burp!

Disclaimer:

The above blog post is meant for entertainment purpose only.
It does not truely represent the author's idea about the meaning in life.
If you should in any way feel offended by the post,
the author suggest that you get a freakin life.

满天星

2006-10-16T01:49:00.000+08:00

天色漆黑，乌云弥漫。

再过不久，看似就要下个倾盆大雨了。。。

年幼的我，抓紧了沉重的书包，赶紧拔脚向家的方向跑去。

一步接一步，雨水从天上一滴一滴的打下来。

我加快了脚步，急不得赶快回家冲个热水澡。

雨越下越大，离家的距离还很远。。。

雨水沾湿了身上的校服，背后的书包，脸上圆滚滚的眼镜。

不顾一切，双脚不停地向前跑着。。。

跑着。。。

*********
一九九八年，就是那个雨天。。。

我初遇见了她。
*********

“砰！”

前方不知道撞到了什么东西。。。我整个人随着背包的重量往后跌。

我用双手把身体推了起来，坐在湿湿的地板上。我将模糊的眼镜拿下，揉了揉双眼。

眼前，坐着一个女孩，年纪看似跟我差不多的女孩。

蛋圆的面孔，密黑稀乱的头发，一双水汪汪的大眼睛。

因雨水的关系，她仿佛流着泪哭泣着。。。

她双手紧紧地握着几束花。。。刚才被我撞上，花朵撒落了满地。

“我的花！”

她急忙地把地上的花朵一一捡起来。

“我的满天星！”

大雨把花儿都淋个七零八乱的，就算全部捡起来，还能用吗？

我呆呆地坐着，不知道该怎么做才是。

周围，雨越下越大。。。

忽然，她将目光朝我的方向投过来。

“你这个笨蛋！还不快帮我捡！我的满天星！”

我吓了一跳，赶紧坐了起来跟她捡花。

怎么想，都是我跑路不带眼。。。撞上了人家。至少应该道个歉才是。

我轻声地开了口

“真的，对不起。我。。。”

“叭！”

话没说完，一辆卡车从我们身旁驶过。

满地的泥水向我们喷过来。。。

来不及闪开，一些泥巴沾上了两人的面孔，几颗满天星粘在脸颊上。。。

我们傻傻的看着对方不出声。。。

看着。。。

看着。。。

忽然，她笑了。她闭上了双眼，指着我的脸哈哈大笑。

“哈哈。。你看你，你这个笨蛋！”

说我笨？

“你自己就不算笨吗？”

我大声说道。。。后来，我也忍不住笑了起来。

雨不停地下着，周围一个人也没有。

唯独两个淋湿的笨蛋坐在路边笑着对方。

雨水啪啦啪啦的声音，沾上了两个人开朗的笑声。

NUSSU PRU

2006-10-14T15:03:00.000+08:00

I had attended the Annual NUSSU Appreciation Dinner yesterday
at the Kent Ridge Guild House. Initially, the main reason for my attendance was
due to the free food. However, as i sat through the prize award presentations
and the multiple video shows, i was stuck with mixed emotions of sadness and
pride...

Sadness, from the fact that I've reached the point where I'm going to slowly back away from the direct-affairs of the organisation which I love so much.

And Pride, from seeing the awards received by our capable comrades for their remarkable efforts, and seeing the achievements of our organization listed down and recognised ... finally even winning the Most-Improved Standing Committee Award.

Thank you all, for the glorious history we've shared as we
strived for our common cause.

Thank you all, for the tears, sweat and blood we've shed along
the way.

Thank you all, for becoming the wings of our
organisation.

Thank you all, seniors and juniors, for everything.

Thank You, Public Relations Unit

Glorious Food

2006-10-12T01:41:00.000+08:00

Indeed i haven't been updating my bloggie lately ... hehehe, partly due to my work and partly coz of the reason i put up in the tagboard, which is kinda lame. I wonder if anyone buys it. Anyways, a while ago i opened up my picture folder and realised many photos i've taken lately are all about food. So .... I'll make this post a photo-intensive one which revolves around the 4-letter F word.

the glorious F word, even more glorious than the other F word (the one which is 1/4 of a fish and 3/4 of a duck )

...
...
...
...
...
...
...

yeah baby ... I'm talking about FOOD!!!
Damn ya all greedy Singaporeans, this one's for ya!

*********
During my sister's 21st birthday a few days back, my aunt took us to a nice restaurant for a session of fine-dining under the moonlight. It's at Rochester Park along North Buono Vista Road, at a place called the da Paolo Bistro Bar.

The ambience there is wonderful ... and the setting, simply to die for.
It's one of those nice residence-turn-restaurant kind of place. The tables are set across the porch of the bungalow, and everyone dines under the stars. The area is sheltered from the side by trees and flora, and soft music plays in the background. The lightning is intentionally dimmed with a candle on every table. The mood generated is simply enchanting.

Check Out the Setting!

It's a french restaurant, and I couldn't pronounce any food item from the menu. I ordered Onion Soup for appetizer, and half-grilled sashimi with mexican corn rice for my main course.

Creamy Onion Soup topped with a biscuit

Half-grilled Sashimi smothered with tomatoes, served with Corn Rice

It taste great ... damn. The only thing lacking will be some good wine to go with the food. I'll definately come back here again. Besides food, it's a great place to catch up with friends/gfs/bfs over some good wine as well.

The roman setting there is rather unique, with couch-beds (wadever you call them), an outdoor bar etc ... Irresistable!

*********
During the weekends, somehow we ran out of food in the house, and noone wants to eat re-heated donuts from the fridge. So ... we ordered Pizza! Oishi Pizza that is, highly reccommended by many of my friends and even Mr.Brown himself (www.mrbrownshow.com). It's 1-for-1, so we got a wasabe seafood pizza and a teriyaki chicken pizza.

Teriyaki Chicken Pizza

Wasabe Seafood Pizza

Check it out, looks different eh? It kinda reminds me of Ramly burgers, lots of sauce goes on top of it. I won't say it taste super, just that it's rather .... different for a pizza. Its got a unique style, a Japanese touch to it. Heh ... unlike western pizzas which comes with loads of cheese, this one comes with loads of other weird sauces.

Yeah i'd reccommend it, go try it at least once. Hehz, i still like cheese though.

**********

Lastly!!! 2 days ago my Aunt suddenlly got this immense craving for crabs. She doesn't really believe in crab-sticks, and so guess where we went for dinner that nite. Here's some hints! Scroll down slowly and take in the pictures!

Fresh Mussels? Check out their tongues, bleeaah~~

Everyone has seen half of a crayfish before, on menus or on your main courses. Not many has seen what they look like before being halved though ... here's their "before" picture, smiling for the camera.

Counch Shell Abalones, cousins to the sea coconuts

GeoDucks, yeah it's a pokemon.

Lobsters!

Alaskan King Crab!!

Dig???

Long Beach Seafood Restaurant!

Despite their spiky appearance and menancing claws, these "Air Flown Live Alaskan King Crabs" are actually one of nature's gentlest creatures...

That's a joke.

But they're definately one of nature's yummiest items to savour on your taste buds!

It's been quite some time since i last had chilli crab, haha. I missed the sweet/spicy sauce that goes soooooo well with fried Man Tou. We also ordered black pepper crab, fried soon hock and some other dishes. I didn't bother to take any pictures of the dishes though ... coz my hands are dirty from fiddling with the crab meat.

**********

Where do you go if you're craving for a nice Japanese buffet spread?

If your answer to the above question is "Sakae Sushi" or "Genki Sushi", you seriously need a life.

Or if you think that NTUC Cold Storage is the best place, you can use a good psychiatrist.

Before i reveal my choice of restaurant, do scroll down slowly and take in the pictures. Just think of this wonderful deal ... all these glorious food, all these variety ... all at one place for one price! True, given their taste doesn't exactly match up to those super exquisite Japanese restaurants that sells sushi for $10 a piece ... but unlimited quantities of these goodies for just $35 is simply a steal. Plus, it really taste good, not super, but just good.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you talk about Jap food? Sushi and Sashimi! Check out the spread!!

Or how about some tepanyaki??

Here's a promotional iteam, sweet BBQ crayfish! This tastes like heaven!

Udon anyone? These comes in many different toppings and are contained in very small mini-claypots, so you don't have to worry about not finishing your noodles!

Glorious Tempura!! Get all of these on your taste buds !

Nabe!! That's japanese for paper steamboat. A popular delicacy, die-die-must-try! Did i mention it's free flow?

Had Enough? Im not done yet!! Free flow Snow Crabs for everyone! And hell, it doesn't taste anywhere near crabsticks.

A foodie's rule of thumb: Never finish a meal without dessert, so here's what they've got to offer! It taste as good as it looks, and there's ice cream too!

Here's where it's at. Suntec Tower Level 3!! Right beside the entrance to Sky Garden ... the place is called Kuishinbo. All Japanese food lovers looking for a good spread at a good price, fall in there fast!

Bon Appetit!

*burp*

Jewelled Fragments in Time

2006-10-01T01:36:00.000+08:00

And thus, Time itself imploded ... sending fragments of history all over its passage. Heroes of different planes and eras are picked up and gathered on post-apocalyptic Dominaria. Spellcasters once forgotten re-emerged, and lich lords once slain are resurrected. The ruins of the Tolarian Academy has been revisited, and ancient artifacts revealed their secrets once more.

In particular ... the disruptions in time brought back one brilliant artificer long ago slain for his dark aspirations....

We've been trespassing his factory a countless number of times without ever bumping into him. Finally, here he is in his full glory!

Mishra ...

the Bane of Argoth, possesor of the Meek Stone, and the Brother of Urza.

******

Troubles in the time rift brought back a legendary race who was destroyed when Urza folded their plane of existence. The daugthers of Serra returns with remarkably similar abilities the Angels have always been known for.

******

A legendary spellcaster shows her face, having been warped from her own era to the present. Many might not know her name, but her spells have been quite a favourite among the Red Mages.

Who do you think is the original caster of spells such as Incinerate, Pyroblast, Lava Burst, Inferno and Pyroclasm?

Here's the answer : Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

******

Well, though many might think that Wizards of the Coast have ran out of new ideas to actually come up with a concept which rummaged through their old ideas, Time Spiral is truely an expansion to look forward to. Thrulls, Goblins, Yavimaya elves, Keldon warriors, Krosan beasts alike have all been brought back into one place.

Further ... legendary cards such as those above have been created. The arsenal involves big names such as Teferi and Lim Dul the Necromancer. In addition, feared cards from ages back has been revived ... recall Living Death? How'd you like to put all the creature cards in your graveyeard into play, while getting your opponent to sacrifice all his creatures in a single turn? It's back, under the name Living End.

I'm thinking of making a comeback ...

I think.

Short Discussion on "Bed"

2006-09-28T01:50:00.001+08:00

A silly rebuttal to Weihao's tagboard tag, since I got nothing better to do except my module readings.

First, here's a picture of my old "bed" in my room.

Now refer to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bed

the WikiPedia Defination of "Bed"

"A bed is a piece of furniture or location primarily used or intended for sleeping upon, but which can serve other functions as well. Beds come in a wide array of shapes and sizes. Early beds were little more than piles of straw or some other natural materials. An important change was raising them off the ground, to avoid drafts, dirt, and pests.

To make beds more comfortable, the top layer is frequently a mattress. Originally these were bags of straw for most people and filled with feathers for the wealthy. Eventually new fillings such as cotton and artificial fillers became common. In modern times most mattresses use springs, solid foam, water, or air.

The second layer is the box spring. The box spring or "divan" is a large mattress-sized box containing wood and springs that provide additional support and suspension for the mattress.

The third layer is the bed frame. The bed frame lifts the mattress/mattress-box spring off the ground."
**************

Wahaha, so I resume my stand!! After 10+ years I'm finally the proud owner of a BED!!

Bow to me!!

Janus is King!!

Labs, Booze, and a Bak Chor Mee place

2006-09-27T02:03:00.000+08:00

Today is an outstanding day.

Despite the fact that I'm suppose to be enjoying my 1 week mid-semester break from the usual school routine of a typical-chow-mugger-engineer, my lab session have been conveniently schedualed at 9am today in school. So I woke up from my beauty sleep at 8.00am, and realised that I've got the dates wrong ... since my usual lab sessions falls on Fridays only, while today is Tuesday.

So I happily went back to sleep, only to wake up a 2nd time later to realize that I've dreamt up the part about myself getting the lab dates wrong. In other words, my lab is indeed today. Freakin Hell man... It's 8.40am already. I reached the lab at 9.20am, and realised that Tongcai didn't even know that there is a lab session today. And so he woke up only at 9.00am ... yay I'm not alone, that's why we're buddies.

Went out with my Army pals in the evening. Went to this great Bak Chor Mee stall along Katong, but i ordered Pork Chop Mee instead. Interesting that they serve their Mee using black bowls, with designs that look like those from Japanese restuarants. Maybe they're trying to pass off their dishes as Ramens. Soon we'll see Ter Kua Ramen being sold in Ajisen Ramen, and perhaps some Mai Hum Ramen also.

Sang for 3 hours in KTV at Katong Shopping Centre ... my first KTV session since I got my new jaw. I'm not really in a singing mood anyway, so spend most of the time trying to stay awake listening to other people sing. Went over to Mark's house to drink at 11pm, and we played a silly drinking game to get everyone drunk. Juices/Plain water/Soft Drinks/Alcohol/Red Bull were mixed together into weird concotions to be consumed by the loser as forfeit. Amazingly, I didn't drank any of those nightmares, while a few of my frens actually downed a few glasses of those stuff. The only forfeits i received was 2 slices of mooncake and a full bottle of water ... not that it was intentional, but luck was really with me.

After a few rounds ...

I got a new furniture in my room. After so many years, I'm finally the proud owner of a bed. Yay, so i'm gonna celebrate my excitement by sleeping early on my new bed tonight. Any one who disturbs my slumber shall be executed. Soon i might be planning a welcome party for this latest member to my room.

A lovely addition to my room!!

By the way, Hady is the new Singapore Idol. I can already predict where he'll be 1.5 years from now.

7-11 of coz, holding a big gulp.

Short Milk Discussion

2006-09-20T02:05:00.000+08:00

The PRU Annual General Meeting ended pretty earlier today.

Due to the lack of attendance, it has been decided to postpone the nominations and elections of the squad leaders. I guess it's only fair that way ... since the nominated leaders will have a full year's term ahead of them, we should make their stepping up as formal and official as possible.

Went for my weekly 4km run around NUS campus tonight, around 11.30pm. First time i completed my route without stopping at all, feel so damn proud of myself. Now I'm ready for the next Army Half Marathon next year. Yay!

I shall increase the distance for my next running session.

Went to Cheers after my shower at YIH. Bought a 500ml carton of Magnolia fresh milk. I looked around for the ever-so-common "Low Fat" label on the carton, but cant find. So i guess this is a carton of "High Fat" milk. I drank it anyway, and damn it taste good.

Super Good.

Because of all the healthy Low Fat Milk in the market, I've forgotten the good taste of traditional High Fat Milk. Its really yum!

Conclusion: High Fat Milk taste better than Low Fat Milk

Singaporean Seafood

2006-09-18T14:52:00.000+08:00

Janus ... in YIH study room ... sick from watching webcasts ... decides to blog

on an outdated topic made popular by the famed blogger, Mr Brown. (www.mrbrownshow.com)

What makes me Singaporean?

That all my fish come in balls and all my crabs come in sticks...

Nyahahahahahaha... back to work.

Get on with your lives.

Temporal Shifts in the LT

2006-09-18T01:18:00.000+08:00

i suspect my lecture buddy is a mutant.

During our lectures, he is able to shift into a temporal state which encompasses a higher level of thinking ability. The transition is gradual ... he'd slowly allow his eyelids to open and close at an increasing rate, after which they'd be closed completely over an extended period of time. By then his consciousness will have already drifted into a higher plane alien to mortals. The head of his physical body, which is now but an empty shell, can be observed to be constantly nodding back and forth, heavy with the information his brain is processing and absorbing limitlessly.

This temporal state is often easily mis-intepreted by uninitiated mortals as "sleeping", which is a useless past time one undertakes frequently to recharge his or her brain cells after they have been drained from thinking. This confusion is often due to the similarities in body posture and movement between the temporal thinker and the sleeper. The difference, however, becomes apprent when the temporal thinker awakens from his meditation, which can happen unexpectedly without warning. His eyes will open and he'd immediately fix his gaze upon the lecture slides ahead with zero time lag. The explained theories and subjects touched upon during his temporal meditation would have already been implanted into his mind with remarkable clarity. Mentally, he would have already compiled a list of intelligent qustions to ask those around him for further enlightenment on the lectured topics.

At the end of the day, he'd be the one who walks away with the greatest understanding on what has been taught.

At the end of the semester, he'd be the one who walks away with a CAP score that'll put the rest of us to shame.

He is none other than the demi-god, Cher Jing Ting.

Temporal State of Greater Thinking, notice the glow that surrounds the proximity of his body

crash

2006-09-01T01:37:00.000+08:00

everything is breaking down.
everything is breaking apart, all at once.
Why must you be so damn bloody stubborn?

that's it.

Let's Talk about Life

2006-07-21T03:33:00.000+08:00

All NUS students would have received this advertisement from NUS Centre For the Arts on 20th July. How many would actually read it, that's a different story. Anyways, here's what its all about.

Apparently, there will be a book discussion session on a couple of books on the 29th of July at the University Cultural Centre. The first book is "Tuesday with Morrie" by Mitch Albom, a book familiar to many people such as myself who's constantly pondering about life. This book changed my perception and my life in a very big way indeed.

I'd want to attend the book discussion session on Tuesday with Morrie, is anyone interested to come along with me? We'd probably be discussing and talking about the very essence of life itself, all its values and meanings. The way we should treat people, the meaning of "love" etc. All these might sound pretty boring to the un-initiated (those who haven't read the book), but for those who did, you'd know what Im talking about.

So if you're interested, and you don't mind hearing me preach in person, do give me a ring. Hope to see ya all.

Bless All.

Mission

2006-07-19T03:35:00.000+08:00

For some reason ... my thoughts flow easily only at midnights. My mind becomes full with things I wanna say. It's 4am now, and it's that time. Tonight, I feel like sharing a significant puzzle piece from my life.

I feel like talking about something, which some of you might classify as "silly" or "meaningless" or "propaganda-to-impress-people-and make-Janus-look-like-an-angel" kinda stuff.

Wadever. Think what you like.

My team-mates from the BHBH2 Philippines trip, you've already heard this story during one of our sharing sessions. If it doesn't bore you too much, just take it in one more time yeah?

*********
I was around 6 years old then. My mom's away, and my dad's at work as usual. On that fateful day, my maid decided to shop for some groceries at the line of shophouses across the road from my estate. She took me along, holding my hand as we walked slowly down the familiar stony path across the field.

The road's just ahead, but something looked different that day. There was a crowd of people, standing in a circle on the road close to the kerb. All of them were just staring down at the centre of the circle, noone's doing anything. Some wore expressions of disgust, others just stared blankly as if hypnotized.

As we veered closer, I realised there was a man lying on the road, in the centre of the crowd of people. He was laying in a pool of blood, literally. I haven't seen anything redder than that bloody scene. His clothes tattered, and (if i did not recall wrongly) long nasty wounds running down his hand and his leg. A road accident, it's easy to conclude. The victim's still bleeding, and he lay on the ground with one of his hands outstrected, calling out for help in Hokkien towards the people that surrounded him. His gaze shifted constantly from person to person, repeating the same words for someone to help him.

No one did.

Everyone just stood around staring blanky at him, as if he was some zoo animal or circus freakshow. There were murmurs among the crowd of people, some were pointing at him, all the while staring down at him as if his accident has degraded him to something less than a human. I didn't thought much of the incident then ... I thought of helping him, but I didn't know how. I was 6 years old, half the time my mind was a complete blank, and my maid was constantly tugging hard at me trying to pull me away.

So, the accident scene got further and further away from us as we walked away.

As I grew up, the emotions I should have felt then set in.
I felt ashamed of those people who treated the whole thing like a stage show.
I felt rage that these people falls into the same categories to what I am, a human and a Singaporean.
I felt sad for the victim.
and most of all, i felt guilt for not being able to do anything.

The accident images, and these feelings haunted me since.

Coincidentally, I was posted into the medical corps during my NSF days. My collegues were happy since medics lead quite a slack life. I was glad for a different reason, that finally I'm being equipped with the skills I need to save lives, and to, in a way, redeem myself. In the School of Military Medicine, i learnt how to dress wounds, CPR, emergency pre-hospital care, injections etc. Truely, with every step I found meaning in my life ... that's the first time I tasted fulfilment apart from the usual academic A-s on the report card. Sounds crazy it may, but at a point in time during my service I actually felt like signing-on forever, to ride on ambulances for a career reaching out to people who calls. Even some guys on the medical corp thought I was crazy when I became too passionate preaching about the glory of the medical mission to the trainees. To me, it's against all morals, that the calls of the wounded are ignored.

I often wished that I can go back to that childhood accident scene and offer a hand to the striken victim. Even if I cant do anything to heal his wounds, my touch will definately comfort his traumatised soul to some extent. I can do at least that, all of us can ... it just depends on whether we are willing to or not. If you can do so much for others by doing as little as offering a hand, why not do it?

Im proud to be a first-aider, I'm darn proud of it. It's what I'd gladly and passionately label as my mission in life, to forever do what I can to the dying and the injured, and to stand between Death and my patients, especially those whom are my friends.

Some of you may think I'm nuts, to constantly volunteer as the Safety Medic whenever we organise events. After all to most, NSF days are not meant to be glorified for too long. My teamates from BHBH2, some of you may also think Im a cockster to carry around a first-aid pouch on my waist wherever we go, even when shopping in the Malls, especially when we already have more professional safety personnels with more complete equipment watching over us.

Now you all know my story, and now you all know why.
Have you got your own mission? Do tell me about it.

Life is sacred. Cherish not only yours, but others' as well.
Bless All.

Distorting the Truth?

2006-07-17T02:57:00.000+08:00

Food Talks

2006-07-15T22:34:00.000+08:00

To all my dear friends whom have tried to ask me out for a meal recently, or are still eagerly waiting for me to recover so that we can have that pig-out session at that fancy restaurant.

Here's the bad news.

You've got a long time to wait, so I guess it's best that you guys carry on without me for a while. Much as I'd love to join y'all, the surgery really took a toll out of the nerve cells around and inside my mouth. I've come to realize that it's not just the tongue alone that gives food its taste, but the gums, the jaw ceiling, and all the other fleshy parts of the mouth do play an important role as well. Kinda sensible ain't it? Since it's a habit for all of us to tumble our mashed-up food around in our mouth before swallowing it, for chewing, slicing, etc. Chances are, your semi-digested food won't always stay on your tongue. It's the nerve sensations on these other parts of the mouth that makes us absorb our food's taste and texture. Without these sensations, we literally won't even know if there's a meatball stuck in the corner of your mouth. Also, you might not even have the motivation to chew, since you're not sure if there's actually food lingering between your teeth.

Yes, that's what I'm going through right now, out of the horse's mouth. Generally, nerve endings take a rather long time to recover, up to 6 months plus. Even if I can eat and chew, I don't really see the point in that if all my food taste like plain water. So ... do have a good dental plan going for yourself, keep your precious nerve cells healthy, or they might just stand up and leave one day.

**********

Right, that's all for Janus' Biological Specimen lessons. Here's some update on what's been going on for the past 2 days.

My sister is back in Singapore again ... for good! She finally graduated from Melbourne University after 4 years!!

Weeeee!

Finally I can have someone close by to bully whenever i feel bully-ish. We picked her up at Changi airport on Friday, and I guess that's the first time she's seen XiaoHui in person too. Haha, very soon I'll be sharing him with her.
(if that sounds er-xin to you, i suggest a good brain scrub)

So ... at night, i went to Sijia's house with Tongcai, Ben and Elsa for a gathering cum stayover. We had a lovely BBQ session, with me eating only super soft food like crab sticks and tons of heated marshmallow. We had a nice talk to keep ourselves updated with each other's life as well. It's been a while since I went for such a gathering, and I really haven't talked quite as much for a while due to my surgery. Chatting sessions feel good indeed, it lets you pour out all your comments and opinions about life to the people around you. And no, unlike PAP, you won't get hammered for what you say usually.

My family heirloom, the electric-powered BBQ pit. Thanks to my ingenious contribution, Elsa don't have to bring her pit all the way from Jurong, which she has stolen from East Coast Park.

Marshmallow Roast!

Glorious Food! Sad that I can't enjoy much of what we have prepared, except the sticky marshmallows. The taste kinda grows on you.

Chocolate Banana. Some weird looking concotion I'll never eat in a thousand years. Also got cheese prawn.

After we ate and talked, we went inside the house to play some silly party games which I've brought. I've also rented some nice movies from Video Ezy for everyone to watch. I think I'm the unappointed entertainment IC. Haha

Sijia's father's wonderful salt water fish tank. Very nicely lit and decorated. Got many of Finding Nemo's crew swimming around inside. You can see the clownfish and the dory fish. Also got many weird looking sea anemones which i resisted grabbing.

Clown Fish bathing among the sea anemomes. The sea anemome look like Abalone Mushroom.

So we played, ate, talked and slept until morning. =)

Memorable and fun outing. Hee

Thursday

2006-07-13T20:28:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 3pm today. Gloriously late. When I realized the time, my first instinct was to send some SMSes to my working friends to suan them, since they are probably up by 7am. While they are dragging their heavy asses out of bed and staggering to their offices with their eyes closed, I'm nicely tucked under my layers and layers of warm blanket hiding away from the disgusting morning sun.

Nyahahahaha!!!

Anyways, it's Thursday.

That means ... it's GYM DAY!!

I usually head to the gym at around 5pm. When i reached the place, I noticed that it is unusually crowded by people dressed in grey shirts and camo pants, sitting around doing nothing. Then i remembered there's NDP rehearsal (My gym is the one at Kallang National Stadium). I parked Xiaohui, grabbed my gear and headed for the gym. From the other direction came a lao-chiao looking Army Captain wearing number 4 uniform, then we walked almost side by side towards the stadium entrance. When we neared the place a lot of people suddenlly stood up and saluted us shouting "SIR!". Ok lah, it's actually saluting him, but I'm now wearing singlet and shorts ... Im civilian, I'm big fuck. I resisted from asking them to knock it down.

So I did my work out among a bunch of oversized beefed up people, spent around an hour in the gym. After that, I headed home. It's around 7.30pm, and there's traffic jam everywhere on the road, especially at Aljunied Road near the Geylang strip. I got stuck there in fact for a while, with the car in front moving at a snail's pace. To my left is Geylang, and at the far sidewalk I can see a few scantily dressed ladies standing around, probably looking for business. They look rather prostitute-ish. Actually they're quite chio from what I see, rather sexy also. Some of our Miss Singapore Universe finalist are quite a far cry from them in fact.

I missed this year's Miss Singapore Universe coz i was overseas. When i checked out the finalists and winner from the internet, I was a bit stunned actually. Most of them ain't ugly, mind you, but definately not what I will call gorgeous or chiobus. When the website used sentences such as "... the nation's top drop-dead gorgeous beauties ...", i don't really know what to say. If that's a fact, I think i really will cry. And I'll probably migrate after I cry.

anyways if your interested, here's the webbie: http://www.msu2006.com.sg/

So i got home, and I was greeted by these 2 man's best friends.

Then they ran inside to drink water after they greeted me.

I couldn't resist taking more shots of them, so here are some nice pictures. =)

Gizmo or Gizzy!

Markie!

That's it, good day to you.

Singapore and the Gahmen

2006-07-12T03:14:00.000+08:00

National Day is approaching.

I was brought up in an environment where students are taught to be loyal to their nation, and to have love for their country. As a kid, i see no reason to debate that requirement for patriotism. However, with time, I've learnt to observe and analyse things with my own eyes and brains, instead of blindly lapping it up from the books and the media. The more i see, the more i become ashamed of my nation due to the people whom we call our leaders.

It really stinks.

There have been countless examples of their close-mindedness to the people, as more often than not this country have been shrouded in a cloud of lies and deceit. I'm so darn sick of all these. The latest issue is probably relatively well known by Singaporeans who are active online and who read the Today newspaper. Yes I'm talking about Mr.Brown. Unlike me, Mr.Brown has a talent of being able to express beautifully into words facts and opinion which dwells in the minds of many Singaporeans such as myself. His article on Today's free column, "S'poreans are fed, up with progress!", reflects the many shitty parts of the Gahmen's glorious plans for the future. The way the Gahmen's so called "Progress" ironically pushes down people's standard of living, the progress package etc etc.

As usual, the Gahmen can't handle the truth, and rebutted Mr.Brown's article. His free expression column on Today newspaper was suspended. A Gahmen's khaki from MICA called Mr.Brown a "partisan player in politics" who distorts the truth. You can read more of this from www.mrbrown.com

This is complete bullshit. They call this country a democracy, it looks more like a monarchy to me, where the citizen's are not allowed to think freely or even express his opinions on a free-expression column. The **people in white** knows best, and we are to lick up and believe every shit they hurl at us. Indeed they are not in anyway involved in the NKF scandal, and yes all the rising costs of living like ERP etc is actually not the government's fault. We tell them our opinions in politics, they brush us off as if we're nothing more than a pesky fly ... really macam they're the GodFather like that, though none of them is half as handsome as Marlon Brando. The "ask the minister" TV show some time ago clearly illustrates that, where MM Lee said something like "Your young, you just want to see a fight! (against opposition parties)". How shallow can anyone get? Jesus.

** I'm not talking about the Ku Klux Klan. KKK only targets African Americans. This one works on an entire nation's population. **

I live in Potong Pasir. Last election, the Gahmen held a S$80 million (or is it?) carrot here to vote PAP's candidate into Parliament. If Seetoh Yipin was to win the elections in Potong Pasir, Potong Pasir will get a variety of lift upgrades and facility upgrades. However, the people here are smart, and we do not give in to bribery. Eventually PAP lost, and Chiam See Tong was voted in again. Mr.Chiam wrote a request to the government for some funds to finance Potong Pasir's upgrading project, since they have openly declared that they can afford it. Mr.Chiam was flatly rejected, the simple reason being that the S$80 million offer ended with PAP's defeat in Potong Pasir. "One People, One Nation, One Singapore" indeed.

My candy arse.

I still want to feel proud for Singapore though, after convincing myself that the Gahmen do not stand for Singapore. They are separate entities, and whether their lousy or good, Singapore is still our motherland which gives us land to stand on. Hopefully, things will change with time, but it sure will take a while.

I pray my son and grandson won't have to see all the ugly shadows on this fair soil we call home.

P.S: If they come after me coz of this post, tell my family I love them.

Project Can 2006

2006-07-10T22:39:00.000+08:00

so the Doc finally removed that plastic thingie from ma mouth!!

Woopeeee!

For once i can finally check out wad my new mouth insides are like, and damn it's a whole new world in there. Really man, it's totally different! It feels different but of course, you probably cant see it from the outside on my front profile.

So I decided to get some exercise done. Yesterday I got up really early to help out CSC (Community Service Club) with their Project Can 2006. I was deployed at Hougang block 500. So we went around from levels to levels and block to block to ask the people for can food or dried food donations. These will eventually be donated to a number of charity centres. Im still getting used my new teeth, so I cant talk well yet and I muffled my words a bit. Some people couldn't understand me. When I tried to tell people Im collecting can foods for donations, they think Im asking them to buy my can food. Since when does salesman start selling can food like 午餐肉 at HDB estates? I also met this really nice Indian guy who invited me into his nice house while he looked for things to donate. He's a vegetarian, so he hasn't got much to give, but he did eventually ruffled up some instant vegetarian soup and milo to give us. He even insisted me and my friend sit down on the sofa for some diet coke before we go. Really nice guy, you don't see that kind of people everytime. That's probably because he's still single, once people gets married or attached they become monsters.

Glorious Can Food from generous people!

Glorious Dried Food from generous people!

I also realised the fundamental importance and usefulness of this device we call a doorbell. I dunch know why some people don't install doorbells at their door, and then have their doors made out of those kind of damn thick wood. Macam blast proof door. You can hear people talking inside the house, but no doorbell to press, you knock on the bleddy door also cannot hear the sound. There're also some homes which doesn't install a doorbell, but placed a very very meshy spider web grille before their door. So meshy until I cant even slide my hand in to knock the door, the pattern spiders see liao also sian. So i just ignored those units, probably inside is gambling den or something.

And then it rained, the wind so strong we got wet inside the shelter. I was hoping that the sight of us soaking wet and carrying plastic bags of donated can food will gain people's pity and become more generous. But alot of people were still very ngiao, see our face only not happy liao. For lunch everyone had 可爱鸡 chicken rice, while I can only drink my delicious milk.

Went home, sleep, wake up to watch world cup and won $19 from Singapore Pools. Yay.
Zidane finally lost it man, went to headbutt the other guy in the chest.

Sad way to end his career indeed.

Cravings

2006-07-03T02:56:00.000+08:00

Hong Kong Braised Soon Hock 香港鱼头
Paper Wrapped Beancurd 纸包豆腐
Prawn Paste Fried Chicken 虾膏炸鸡
Braised Duck with Sea Cucumber 海参鸭
Fried Yam Paste with Crisp 欧款
Chilli Crab with Bread 辣椒螃蟹
Black Pepper Cray Fish 黑胡椒虾婆
Buttered Oatmeal Prawns 奶油麦片虾
Fried Belachan Fish 巴拉参鲳鱼
Fresh Raw Lobster with Vinegar 生龙虾
Braised Tofu with Seacucumber 海参豆腐
Mushrooms with Kai Lan Vegetable 香菇炒概览菜
Drunken Live Prawns in Brandy soaked with Ginger 布兰蒂醉虾
Yam Paste Dessert 欧尼
Thai Style Chicken Legs 泰式鸡脚

I miss all of you!
Doc please take out my mouth piece tomorrow...
:`(

Bad Days

2006-06-27T15:17:00.000+08:00

So ... what's wrong with your day?

"I can't watch World Cup coz I've no cable."
"I can't go outdoors coz my doctor wants me to rest more."
"I can't talk or eat."
...
blah blah blah

it's so easy to find flaws with things. Most of us has a small side of a perfectionist in ourselves, and we do really expect everything to be flawless. When we go on a date, we hope nothing goes wrong. When we visit a restaurant, we hope the food we ordered to be good.

If something happens below our expectation, like if the candle falls and burns the stupid table cloth, we'll probably mark it as a bad day. And so it goes, we go thru so much more bad days than good ones, blah blah blah, emotionally, physically, mentally, wadever. Sometimes we whine about it, others bitch about them, to friends to relatives on their blogs wadever.

So why not try this, ask yourself instead ... what's GOOD about your day?

eh?

What made u smile today?

Let's see ...
"She finally called back!"
"Finally i made proper plans to go JB after I recover"
"And i've lived out 2/3 of my recovery period"

we do realise good things less easily than bad things, but nevertheless, they are there. So why not just chew on it and sniff it in like a fresh breath of air. And to live it better, dance on it.

Now that's what i call living!

thanks Andy.

My Ordeal

2006-06-18T15:32:00.000+08:00

I've really seen it all this time ...

I've witnessed the infamous receding sight of the ceiling as I'm wheeled on a trolley bed from my ward to the Operating Theatre. The theatre was cold, and there were big glaring lights everywhere. It was really as I've seen it on the tube. The surgeons mentioned that it will be a long operation, as long as 5.5 hours. The process sounded terrifying, my upper gums will be scrapped a little, and some teeth removed as they pushed my jaw back. I am grateful for the fact that I'll be knocked out fully with drugs before the doctors begin their work. What was a few hours to everyone else would probably seem only a few minutes to me as I snooze through their work. I talked to my Anastetist a little while the doctors discussed something. She was quite amused that I was a medic and understood some of the medical terms she's been using to her fellow collegues. An intraveneous line was inserted into my left hand vein, and then some drug was injected into my left arm. They placed a mask over my mouth, and before long my world literally began spinning. I feel myself losing consciousness, and then everything went black.

When i awoke, i felt weakness coursing through my entire body. I was still in the same room on the same table, only that the process is finished. My mouth is tied up with rubber bands and fitted with some drain pipes for blood. I can't open my mouth due to the restrains. The surgery is completed, and I was wheeled away to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) for a night of observation. It proved to be the longest night that I've been through. The ward's condition is horrible. The room was small, cramped and there was no air conditioning, ventilation was bad. My head was still spinning from the drug injected into me earlier, and I vomitted twice during my ordeal, with my mouth closed and teeth shut. At times, i really felt like I was vomitting my life force out of myself. There was blood and objects which seemed like bits of my inner flesh. I cant move much, I cant open my mouth to clear my throat, and I cant drain the fluids from my clenched jaw. The only thing I can do is swallow. Fortunately, the nurses are kind and patient. They attended to me and assisted me as much as they could. More apparent to me than ever, nursing really seemed a noble career.

I welcomed the first rays of dawn. The night has been really horrid. My surgeons came into the ICU to check on my condition. Being unable to speak, I had to play charades with them. I was taught to feed myself from a tube with an all balanced milk diet, before I was taken back to my own general ward. This one's air-conditioned, thankfully. I slept thru the rest of the day ...

Now I'm at home, my cheeks still swollen as ever. My teeth are still tied, and I won't be able to speak or eat proper food for as long as 3 weeks. A tradeoff i gave for this operation, may be that I've lost the sensation of half of my chin and some parts of my lower jaw. In other words, the nerve cells there might have died ... maybe for good (I pray otherwise). The doctors have said the sensation will come back slowly, it may take even up to a year. Im willing to wait anyway, hopefully time really heals this wound, else I'll really doubt the worth of this surgery.

All the while, I'm truely thankful for all my friends. Though I haven't seen anyone for quite some time due to my request, I felt the pressence of everyone thru the simple SMS and MSN messages. I'm grateful for your existance, thank you all so much. You have no idea how much comfort it brought me reading your simple messages of well wishes and health. I speak no lie. Now that I'm going through one of my weakest moments, I've sincerely felt the shine of everyone's blessings at their fullest.

This one thanks you. =)

Withdrawal Symptoms

2006-06-08T00:29:00.000+08:00

barely back for a week, and already pressed with problems up to my neck.
Had a thrashing with my club chairperson, some quarrels with my mom, and a few others with my aunt. Life is really catching up on me fast.

maybe it's some kinda trip withdrawal symptom, but Im missing Philippines bad.

The simplicity of the life ...

The warmth of the people ...

The abundance of nature ...

..
..

My team mates ...

etc etc etc.

blah blah blah. sleep time

没有瀑布于岩石的阻挡，溪水就没有悦耳地歌唱

2006-06-07T17:51:00.000+08:00

i feel sick.

Literally.

I can NOT be sick at this time.

The whole plan will have to be aborted.

and that just ...

sucks.

Blogs and Rantings

2006-06-06T03:26:00.000+08:00

She was constantly scribbling away on a foolscap pad...

It almost looked like she brought an essay assignment all the way from Singapore to complete in another country.

So i assumed she's a hardcore blogger, who can't stop journalising her days and thoughts either with a keyboard or with a pen......

until she told me she's not, and on the contary, she described blogging as kinda fake. You put down your thoughts (or what you think are your thoughts) on a space in the world wide web, and people starts reading them. You can bitch on and on about how disastrous a date went and your readers would know about it ... and maybe the next day you'd blog about how your date turned out to be a mutant (yeah, way to go Xman) and your readers would know about it. If the contents are real, good for you. If it's not real, good for you too, since noone would know that it's made up.

I guess i partly agree with her, some part of it is really kinda fake, like a movie or a wrestling match. I think that's what I've been feeling all the while when i blogged, just that i dun have the guts to put it to words, since I'm a blogger myself. I don't usually blog about my daily activity, like when i sleep or when i shit ... rather, I tried to maintain my blog more towards an emotional and spiritual side of things. Track back on my posts if you don't understand what I'm talking about. And when i see problems with things, i blogged them out as well. When these problems involve people who might read my blog, i might or might not spill my thoughts, since it might complicate matters if you realised that a post your reading is actually blasting about you.

Well, my point is?
I don't really know as well, just some food for thought i guess. Like it or hate it, bleah.

Anyways, I'm planning to shift my focus on another blog that i can bitch freely whom the readers are not likely among those whom are bitched upon.

Go figure, bleah.

By the way, you still owe my dog a birthday present.
Yeah you, im referring to you.

Fly FLy aWaY!

2006-05-14T23:56:00.000+08:00

我走了 !! 大家保重喔！

Hoot Hoot

2006-05-13T01:56:00.000+08:00

Went Hooters with a Siyong, Nimales, Grace and Pei Lin.

Dunno why the girls chose that place ... we paid $180 for a meal which aint very filling, but i kept emphasizing that at hooters its normal to pay more than what the meal is worth. Haha, you're paying for the visual appetizers there as well. The waitresses are hot man, some of them on fire. Eye candies everywhere, we're surrounded by them. Oh my f**king gawd, tight fitted sweet mommas in heaven...

=D~~~

then we went Rouge to drink somemore.

hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot

Makan Sutra

2006-05-12T01:19:00.000+08:00

Guys Day Out ...

The ol'gang is having another one of their LAN cum anime outings ...

We're suppose to meet at 12.30pm at Katong Shopping Centre, but Weehou arrived gloriously late at 1.30pm. Then he blamed it on the Fujitsu people for making him wait so long at the Service Centre. That's why I always say ... buy Japanese laptop must buy Toshiba. Reliable and good. Smash won't break, drop won't spoil. That's why i always think Xintian is very smart.

Then we went Katong and had Katong Laksa for lunch.

Then we went to play LAN at Katong Shopping Centre.

Then we had Katong Laksa for dinner.

Then came back to my house to watch anime.

Then we ordered 2 large pizza for supper.

Then we watched more anime.

Then we bought Chips and Salsa for midnight snack.

Then we watch more anime until 4am then sleep.

Then we woke up and went to eat Nasi Lemak for lunch.

Im happy that we chionged finish all 51 episodes of Full Metal Alchemist though, its been dragging for ages. Time to move on to a new anime.

*burp*

Shopping!!!

2006-05-09T03:05:00.000+08:00

I think i've picked up a new hobby.

yay, shopping.

Out of the blue, i decided I needed more new clothes, and happily jioed Kelvin go Orchard walk walk. That was yesterday.
*Actually we spent the last night at my house with chipmonk watching anime*

We went to Heeren, and we browsed a few shops before concluding its quite a sucky place for men's clothes. We went over to Takashimaya, and bumped into Kelvin Tang with a sore throat. Nao Hiah disturb me inside the dressing room. He was shopping with a couple of Fyre freshies. So old already still want to buaya young girls, sian la. We talk awhile then left them alone liao. Both me and Kelvin needed new bags, and there's a good shop at PS dealing in a great variety of sling bags and pouches. So we went over, to find the shop dissappear liao. Turned into some weird shop selling nonsensical things. Anyways, we bumped into more familiar people at PS. While traveling down the escalator I suddenlly notice the woman in front of me got a very familiar face, and the guy beside her got an even more familar face. So qiao, we bumped into Shanshan, Jeffery and Wenhui. One glance can tell is ShanShan already actually, she forever wear that white tank top one. Macam hantu float here float there, wahahaha. She confirm will kill me when she read this post, butthen i going overseas liao. So ... neh neh ni neh neh, bleahhh.

Went Yoshinoya makan, then go home liao.

**********
Today i damn 神。

My BHBH2 meeting was at 10am, but i misread the email and tot it was 2pm. I had another meeting today with some staff from NUS Com Centre at 2pm actually, so i pushed the Com Centre meeting to 10am so that i can attend the "2pm" BHBH meeting. We talked about some events stuff until 11am, then i loafed around the campus looking for food and friends.

I went to NUSSU Sec, and accidently dropped a thumbtack inside Jeremiah's tea. But he was not around, so I left a post-it note on the mug to warn him don't drink.

around 12.30pm, i even sms-ed Meishan to ask her where we meeting at 2pm. When she call me to tell me they meet at 10am, I almost peed my pants man. Damn jialat, even more paiseh.

Rushed over to KR Hall. Learn Hip Hop dance and belly dancing. I so fat how to dance? Zhaoyuan still ask me do hip hop stunts. Siaow la, I not Malay, I only know how to eat pork. Belly dancing still can, coz i got beer belly, better than Gavin's 6 pack.

come home 3pm, sleep until 6pm.

Then I decided i still need more new clothes.

Then drove to Parkway Parade shopping again. Yay.
Tomorrow I going Orchard again.

damn, im one busy cow.

Passage

2006-05-08T01:05:00.000+08:00

Where lies the boundary between reality and illusion?
Is there a boundary to even start off with?
Or are realities meant to be blurred unpredicatably into the fields of the deceptive illusions?

I thought I had grasp it all, to understand this emotion after much studying and isolation. The reason was near, but the nearer it got the blurrer it became, until it completely faded when issues became the most convincing. It's there, but I can't reach it ... near yet far, real yet illusive.

I've spent time chasing after dreams. But was it meant to be? If good dreams were to end with a bad fall when the night fades, then I'd rather there be no dreams at all. We met, we laughed, we held on fast ... and then we said a silent goodbye. You may never know how i feel ... you don't need to anyway. We're all born with the ability to remember ... a talent or a curse in different time and context.

If the impact is deep, even the rains of time won't allow us to forget...

***
Maybe I'm asking too much of you.
Forgive me ...
I haven't forgotten my promise.
***

Indeed ... a dream that comes true, is not a real dream.

Japan Hour

2006-05-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer
Warning, the images that follow may cause severe unrest and visual disturbance for the faint hearted. If you are easily induced to an uncontrolable violent behavior from sights of tempting images, please skip this post.

... finally, I found time to dine at Kikuzawa with Kelvin, as well as fulfilling my Programs Head treat to Amy for the last Rag and Flag project. Just take the images in, I'm not gonna type any descriptions. Bleah. Tze Hwee and Jocelyn, dun forget to bug your Programs head for a similar treatment after Rag also understand?

That's it, done, finish.
Ok wipe your mouth dry.
Bye bye.

Soulz

2006-05-02T20:28:00.000+08:00

finally ... back to blogsphere, though I'm pretty sure I've lost 99% of my readers due to my inactivity. Exams are over, and so is this semester, and I'm looking forward to my 3 months vacation that begins today.

Well ... I'm not gonna indulge in the usual flurry of colourful holiday activities this time. I've made a small resolution to break off from life a little. Many things have happened since the year began, many things that i haven't seen or experienced before, things that set me thinking ...

...

for so long..
I've been going around doing things I thought I'd enjoy,
I've confided in people who I thought would care.
I've tried to lend my assistance to ppl whom I thought would appreciate,
And everytime, I strived to do what I thought was right.
Sometimes it brought me fulfilment, other times it left me empty and drained emotionally.

so ... im breaking off a little I guess, instead of searching for dreams outside of me, I'm looking within me.

I need a vacation, just me and my humble soul.
Ciaoz.

Im a Whiney cow~

2006-02-08T02:48:00.000+08:00

Well ... i haven't blogged for ages. Even with the CNY break, this is really one heck of a sem. I've got unfinished assignments piling up to my nose, with many other extra-cirricular projects waiting for my attention.

I've whined about this same problem last sem, and probably the last last sem as well. What's new is perhaps my extra commitments to projects outside PRU. Haha ... Im now an NVAC Volunteer too, though I don't really know if I've done enough to be deserving of that title. =) Now this is one project that Im actually always looking forward to ... haha. No stress no stress~~ just sessions of plain childhood silliness and innocence with the kids. Then ... there's my YEP programme with Rotaract Club. I did expect many fund-raising activies to prepare for our Phillipines trip in May ... but I certainly didn't forsee that our meetings all fall on Sundays, my precious study day. Ack ... I'm burned out.

By the way ... I wanna apologise to all my blog readers, whoever you are, for not updating as frequently as i though i should. :)

Anyways, here's a memorable photo I took when i brought Xiao Hui for his first wash at Esso.

I must be the first nut in history to post up such a pic.

Losing my Focus

2006-01-24T14:00:00.000+08:00

...

what am i doing?

I came to the library to study, to catch up what I've missed in lectures for the past 2 weeks...
yet here I go blogging away without even a topic in mind.

I need a motivator, someone to slap me everything i take my attention away from the books.
sheesh ...

will be meeting LK and gang for dinner at Cafe Cartel later on at 6.30pm. Until then, i pray that i'll be able to absorb 3 hours worth of lecture.

That's will be all i guess ....

Heaven's decending in ... 3 more days.
I just cant wait!

Dissonance

2006-01-19T22:46:00.000+08:00

So it seems...

that I have walked my path as a mindless ghost for far too long.
Long enough to be blinded away from the unpleasant realities of the people I've come to love.
Long enough to be blinded by the impacts of my own subconscious doings on my friends.
and long enough, to finally see the dissonance in the beauty I assumed ahead.

this post is shallow compared to what has been going thru my mind these few days ... it may not make sense to some though ... but here goes

I'd like to talk about hierachy and politics once again.
It's everywhere, isn't it? With the way this society is ticking, hardly anyone can deny that they are necessary for progress. The troublesome part of these, however, is that although it might promise a certain degree of order and organization, it comes with a cost, and often a heavy one at that. As people with common goals but different ideals come together, friendships and relations might be tarnished. With uncapable men at the top of the hierachial ladder, everything simply falls apart. Influences ... Struggles for power ... coalitions ... secret meetings ...

sigh ...

It's darkening societies and organizations. There hardly is an organization with pure goodness and no evil lingering about. However, one true fact remains, and this is my logic. An evil organization doesn't make a person evil, rather, his own beliefs and ideals do. As long as you stand strong and firm to your own basic morals, beliefs ... nothing can sink you. In other words, learn to be true to yourself. There might be people out there attempting to control, influence or even destroy, and the only condition for their victory, is for your mind to give in to their preachings. One should always know how to make his own judgements instead of blindly receiving information from external sources. It's often damanging to have too much faith in everyone approaching you, even if he might appear to be a friend to you. That is the weakness of many people, including myself.

If a person chooses to leave because of this darkening situation, he might be simply seeking to escape from reality... very probable a sign of weakmindedness. I have always tried to embrace the coming of this issue, though I'm not completely sure if Im successful. I work for the love of it, and I work for those whom I call friends. I have little love for power and no love for organisational politics, and i work solely for the fact that i find it pleasurable and enriching. Those are my ideals, and the beliefs which I've chosen to guide my life with.

"I might be a dog for the military, but I walk with my own two feet"

Cafe Heaven @ Spinelli !

2006-01-17T16:06:00.000+08:00

Once again ...

Janus is lazing away on the comfy cushioned chairs of Spinelli in the NUS University Hall ... seeking for his self-claimed heaven in a cup of hot latte. Its drizzling outside a while ago, and he had entered the cafe dripping wet from his earlier walk in the rain. Previously, he had been spinning around in the NUSSU van driven by Jeremiah, on a mad publicity stunt initiated by the Bash Comm. It had left him dizzy and slightly drained ... and coupled with the teary weather, he craved a little solace in the campus haven he loved so much.

It's been 2 hours ... the latte's gone, and so were the pastries on his plate. The rain seemed to have stopped, though the sky still looks gloomy with the congregation of grey clouds. He had been listening to music from his laptop while he's here, taking in a novel he hadn't had time to read during the Holidays. He tasted heaven, and felt separation from the restless insanity that drives the world. He wondered if he should ask some of his friends to join him, but eventually decided against this. Just for now, he wanted to be alone, and to enjoy the silence outside his earphones...

:)

So what spells heaven for you?
Mine comes in the form of a hot cup of coffee! haha
Cheers to you~~ !

My "Ideal Major"

2006-01-16T00:51:00.000+08:00

Out of boredom, I tried the "Ideal Major" test which many of my friends have linked up in their bloggies... so here goes

You scored as Philosophy. You should be a Philosophy major! Like the Philosopher, you are contemplative and you enjoy thinking about the purpose for humanity's existence.

Philosophy

92%

Art

83%

Journalism

83%

Theater

75%

Psychology

67%

Sociology

50%

Engineering

50%

Dance

42%

Mathematics

42%

Anthropology

42%

Linguistics

33%

Biology

25%

English

17%

Chemistry

17%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

Im not really surprised with the test results, in fact I kinda expected it. Haha, it's true that i do tend to think and perhaps "philosophise" a lot. However, I believe that such a subject is better left as a minor, rather than a major. That way, you'll be able to find more meaning in the daily passages of life, and not getting overboard with it.

Many of my friends mentioned that I'm an unusual breed of Engineer with an Art student's mindset. It does sound funny, but I like the description.

Cheers to all~ looking forward to a good week ahead!

Life's 23rd Anniversary

2006-01-12T01:23:00.000+08:00

Ok, midnight has past.
I'm now officially 23 years old.

I thought I'd be the first to wish myself a Happy Birthday with this blog post, but I'm glad many of my friends had beaten me to it. A few SMS messages have been sent in with Birthday blessings for an old man, as well as quite a number of MSN greetings from my pals, especially Kelvin. Haha ...

I appreciate all these, really. Thanks guys!

When I was a kid, i remember how I'd always look forward to my next birthday. It'd mean presents, good food and plenty of ice cream. I'd make sure everyone around me remembers my birthday, hoping I'd get more and more presents every year. I'd be overjoyed when my mom buys me toys and games, and i'd get angry when I open gift boxes to find clothes inside. Haha, that's really cute now that i think back on it. One year i received a Ninja Turtle Pizza Tosser toy ... then there was the Ninja Turtle handheld game, and that remote controlled car later on. As the years went by ... my toys get bigger. I received a Power Rangers Megazord action figure during secondary school, and soon, a pager and a handphone from my dear Mom.

As we age, however, we really tend to lose some regard for the once sacred annual hatch day ... nowadayz, it seems little more than just another day in my life. I don't crave for a cool party to celebrate my birthday, nor do i wish for many presents to come my way. If my friends remember my birthday, a simple handshake and "Happy Birthday" from them will be more than enough to brighten up my day. That's probably coz it constantly reminds me that I'm not walking down life's journey alone.

If there's one way I'd like to celebrate my birthday this year, perhaps it'd be to down some booze with my close buds at a quiet bar till daybreak. Anyways, I ain't gonna plan for that, nor do i hope any of my friends to do so (it ain't a hint hor!), since I'm really bogged down with my commitments in school already. heh...

Well ... that's that.
Happy 23rd Birthday old man! =D

Teary Teary Sky

2006-01-09T01:37:00.000+08:00

It keeps raining ... rain on me baby.

You know the times when you are caught in a sudden downpour without an umbrella or any nearby shelters? What do you make of it? Most people will probably start cursing and running in the direction with the greatest possibility of leading to a shelter. It'll probably end off as quite a bad day for most of us ...being drenched and all.

But to me, one of the best feelings in the world, is to walk through a drizzling weather without an unbrella. Personally, I really like it a lot ... to feel the raindrops gently hitting upon you as you casually pace your way through. Having accepted the fate that you're going to get wet anyway, why not just embrace the rain and enjoy the rest of your unsheltered journey? To me, it just feels so .... free! I chose not battle against nature's wrath, rather ... I embrace it. People around me might be carrying umbrellas, and briskly making their way to their destinations dry ... but I'm definately enjoying the journey more than they do.

Haha, maybe the only drawback is that you might catch a cold later. But what the heck.

Anyways, life's really a journey, a path we walk down endlessly till we take our last breath. No?
Instead of briskly walking down life's journey, why not slow down your pace a little, and for once take in what the surroundings have to offer? Life's really not purely about work, study etc. There's truly too many wonders to behold if only we choose to notice them. That can be interpreted in many unique ways in fact, depending on your personality. When's the last time you smiled to a stranger who happen to look your way? Even that qualifies as a mini pleasure by itself to brighten up our days a little bit.

Many have asked why I called myself cryhaven. Well, it's derived from the words "Crying Heaven".

In short, rain. =)

Happy New Year

2005-12-31T03:29:00.000+08:00

figured I'd add a post on the last day of 2005. This year hasn't been as good I hoped ... and i vaguely remembered a number of times when i wished that the year would just fly by. Let's hope the new year ahead will be better than the last, and it just has to be man ... it's MY year! I've got a dog on my Chinese Zodiac, and its the year of the doggies in 2006. Yeah, dogs and dog lovers rule this year, and nothing's gonna mess me up! Not CORS, not my mom, not my bills, not my bad grammar, aint nothing! I aint gonna make up a New Years Resolution, since I never lived by them.

And ... still no pictures on this post, since im just too lazy or forgetful to ask that cable from my sister. Hmmm.

Get ready for Au Lang Syne people.

Xmas Post

2005-12-27T03:55:00.000+08:00

OK, 2 days ago it was Christmas, and yesterday it was Boxing day. I had tons of things to blog about, hell LOTS of thingies!! The turkey ... the ham ... Project "Xmas Waltz" ... my braces that has been hurting like mad lately... but there's just one problem. My sis took my Nokia-PC cable which i need for uploading pictures to my laptop!!! In other words ... no gawd damned pictures!! And ... and ... a blog entry about a nice warm Christmas just aint the same without pictures!!! Christmas lasts 12 days, and Im patiently waiting for it to be over so that I can pound her without getting noticed by Santa and his Elves.

OK, that's a joke.

and not forgetting ... YOU !!! You ... you ... people better keep checking back here for updates, you dig!!?? And ... and ... the tagboard!! Yes!! My Precciiioousss, leave a tag!!! Or Im SO gonna hurt you!!

OK, that's still a joke.

Let's all be nice to each other yah.
tralalala

but i'll still be thrilled if u'll tag ur visits, yay :)
good times people!

NVAC MINDS Camp 2005

2005-12-19T02:17:00.000+08:00

I've just ended my 6 days camp ordeal today. 3 days for the Student Leaders' Camp, and another 3 days for a totally different kind of camp, the MINDS camp organized by NVAC. I got Nimales to recruit me as a volunteer assistant, in place for Gavin who was down with dengue fever. Basically, it was a camp to take care of intellectually disabled kids, and it indeed was an eye opener for me. Everyone knew what volunteering is about from the TV reports and books, but on the ground, everything was entirely different. I had some expectations before I arrive, and I was surpised to find things entirely different from what i has anticipated. Kinda a cultural shock for me on the first day, but i grew to love with what i had signed up for as the days passes.

On the first day, we played many games. We had 4 groups, Sun, Moon, Star and Cloud. You can see from the pic their mascots are so easily made ... very kiddish. So were the games planned out for them. Haha, I was really unused to all these especially since i went thru the Student Leaders Camp some days back. I later learn that it wasn't the programs that made the camp what it is, it's really the kids.

here's Frinzzi !!! The kid im taking care of with 2 other volunteers! Hahaha, he's so fat and bubbly! Quite naughty at times, and always got punished by Yingjun, his Volunteer. In fact I was rather stunned by how fierce some of the female volunteers can get when thier kids are naughty. The way they raise their voice and the stern look they gave. Im damn glad im not their target. Hahaha, usually the kids are made to stand facing the wall for a few minutes, and then after that they'll become slightly more obedient for a while.

We had games, music, sing-a-long sessions etc. Mainly interaction sessions to play with the kids. Here we are having a learning session to help the kids learn about some basic domestic skills, like cleaning the table, making their bed, tidying the room etc. It's back to basics for everyone, away from the complications of calling up sponsors and planning all programs to the finest details. Just plain childhood innocence with plenty of room for imagination and learning.

For Day2, we had an Xmas celebration in the school! MINDS Volunteers from all over Singapore came to Peicai Secondary with their trainees for Xmas games and a cool carnival! So many kiddy games going around, like this hammer game we see at the arcade! There's also a fishing game, some ball games ... so fun la.

No Xmas celebration is complete without a giant snowman and Santa Claus! hahaha, everything was so simply put together, but yet it was sooo heartwarming rallying the kids together for a good time. We had presents packed neatly under a cute tree for the kids to grab. Frinzzi got a big inflatable ball from Xiao Jing, which he burst an hour later when he threw the ball at the ceiling fan. At night, we had a good Xmas dinner with chocolate, mashed potato, ham and lots of turkey .... ummmmm I love TuRkies .... I also learn that turkies goes well with Cranberry Sauce.

Some people from NUS CAC (Cultural Activities Club) also came down to do some Christmas Carolling before we dine. It has been a good day!!

For the last Day, we have a play put together for the trainees' parents. It entitled "The Treasure in the Sky". Once again, it was very simply put together. Frinzzi was given the role of the part of a Hawaiian surfer model. The Camp comm made him a yellow surf board out of carboard, and I taught him how to pose on the stage. His role was so cool la, his first pose was to lie down on the board and start paddling and swimming. Because he's so round, it looks damn cute and funny!!

And so ends the camp. I've seen alot, done a lot and learnt a alot. I've done things I never expected to be doing, like bathing the kids ... helping them brush teeth and dress etc. A 10 year old kid called Yew Joe woke up in the middle of the night and peed his pants. I had to bring him to the toilet to wash him up and wash his stained pants and underwear as well. At first, I admit I was a bit grossed out ... but I really grew to enjoy these small moments of innocence with them, even if it means I have to make a lot of trips to the toilet to help them bathe etc. It really becomes pleasurable and kinda cute at the same time. I truely enjoyed myself. Haha. Im going to miss Frinzzi, really. Nimales asked me to join the NVAC MINDS project at Guilemard, Im giving it serious consideration ... haha, maybe I can get to play around with Frinzzi's belly again.

It's my first time doing a volunteer work with Intellectually Disabled kids. I've learnt many new things ... but the most astonishing fact I've realized, is that many of the volunteers have committed themselves to their kids all the way from year 1 to year 4, and there are also many graduated students who chose to continue their service with their kids after so many years. I also got to know a guy who's still serving NS, but still volunteered to join NVAC in their selfless service. No one around here does this for CCA points or recognition ... it all comes from the heart, to help the unfortunate kids do what they cannot do for themselves. I was a little embraressed from my negligence all these years for not lending much of a hand.

If there's anything I've really realized from this NVAC MINDS project, is that we indeed do have Angels living among us, and it can even be you.

Waltzing the Night II

2005-12-09T02:02:00.000+08:00

Had an outing today with my MNO module project gang. It's really kinda cool how we bonded so well together, starting off from a simple project team for a school module. We met up at City Hall MRT at 6pm, and had dinner at Nooch noodle bar.

My Sze Chuan Ramen!

Dinner was good, almost as good as the rounds we had at Paulaner's (pardon the spelling) Brewery over at Millenia Walk after that. My all time favourite pub ... I haven't been here in ages, and their authentic beers still taste the best!

We stayed at the pub till around 11, before heading off to the river side beside Esplanade. Once again, I haven't been here in ages ... and I've forgotten how beautiful the view is from here.

City View from the riverside, 11.30pm

We waltz over to the Fullerton hotel bridge, where we spent 2 hours chatting away about any topic that comes to mind. I almost fell asleep lying down on the bridge, haha. For the first time in a long while, i actually felt free and liberated. While so many others enjoy a night life shaking themselves away at some club, I prefer a quieter and closer approach to the night herself. Call me wierd, haha, but this is the life i love.

Having the night upon you, priceless.

Waltzing the Night

2005-12-08T14:17:00.000+08:00

Was at the gym, when Meishan called. Her tuition was cancelled, so she's good for movie this evening. We liased up with Kelvin, and i reserved the tix at Cineleisure for the 11.15pm show: Exorcism of Emily Rose. Lately I've been watching many good movies, and this certainly is one of them. It really makes you wonder about the realm of the Supernatural, and best of all this movie is based on a true story.

2.00am, its pouring outside. Everyone's taken shelter outside the Cineleisure Cheers store. This rain doesn't look like one which will stop for a few hours. We braved the rain and waltz over to the nearby kopitiam across the wet pavements and streets. We lingered there for a while, before deciding Chomp Chomp will be a better place for supper. Once again, we waltz over to the opposite parking lot where i parked my car. Our pace was initially fast in the rain to avoid getting drenched too much, and it slowly became a leisurely walk in the watery weather. I have forgotten how fun this feeling is.

We drove through nature's watery wrath to Chomp Chomp at Serangoon Gardens, only to find it closed. I thought Chomp Chomp is supposed to be open 24hours? So we went over to Geylang instead for a midnight feast of traditional Hong Kong cuisine.

豆浆，油条，豆奶，萝卜丝蛋糕，虾饺，烧卖，台湾面线，猪肠粉

Kelvin And MeiShan

3.15am, the food's gone but the supper crowd's still around. Meishan is still weary from the show just now. Everyone's tired ... I sent Kelvin home, then I sent Meishan home.

Ending the session with a leisurely drive home in the serenity of the watery night, priceless.

Cool Movies

2005-12-07T02:06:00.000+08:00

Im a regular customer for Video Ezy during semester holidays. My sis will be back from Australia then, and we'll be spending quite a number of sleepless nights together taking in rented movies.

Seldom has a movie left an impression on me. And for the few that actually did it, all were English movies, none Chinese ... until today.

We rented 童梦奇缘 and 神话, 2 movies that I have vowed to watch ever since i missed them on the big screen due to studies. 神话 is ok, the usual Jacky Chan scenes mixed with some unusual twist. 童梦奇缘, on the other hand, is simply fantabulous. A true master piece indeed, 4 thumbs up (me and my sis) !!! My sis cried actually on the show. Highly recommended, brilliant movie on all levels!

What Happens when Janus gets Bored

2005-12-05T04:04:00.000+08:00

"The Force is strong in this one ... "

lalalalalala

Night out on the town

2005-12-05T00:14:00.000+08:00

6.30pm

Janus feel like getting in some exercise.
Janus drove to Kallang stadium to run the track.
Janus realized the stadium people never switch on the flood lights, so it was too dark to run.
Janus didn't thought of that ... sianz 1/2.

Janus decided to hit the gym instead.
Janus walked inside the gym and realized that he forgot to bring towel.
Janus asked the people there if there's any way he can loan or buy a towel, or simply work out without one.
Janus was then told that the gym closes in half an hours time.
Janus mentioned that the sign outside said the gym closes at 10pm, and the people there say that's for weekdays... and today is Sunday.
Janus sian 1/2 again.

sian 1/2 + sian 1/2 = sian ( 1/2 + 1/2 ) = sian 1

Janus walk back to his car feeling damn sian, then called up sister to ask if she wants to come out for a walk around Suntec. She say Yes.
Janus drove home to change and pick her up, then drove to Suntec.
Janus and sis went MPH to browse thru some books and did some window shopping all over the place. Sis bought a bag, Janus thinks it is a waste of money.
Janus and sis then went to the CityLink Gelare for some coffee and snacks.
Janus and sis decided to go to a nearby pub for a few rounds, but changed their mind on the way to the pub.
Janus and sis drove to Orchard to see the lights instead.
Janus and sis returned home at 12am.

Weee, how fun.

Nguyen's hanging, 2nd December

2005-12-04T01:58:00.000+08:00

And what do you perceive of our country's strict laws against drug trafficking? Yes, im looking at Nguyen Tuong Van's hanging that happened a few days ago on Friday. The decision to dish out the capital punishment to a foreign citizen started a big hoo-hah across the borders of our island to countries such as the US, Australia, and finally ... the United Nations.

For those who haven't been catching up on the news, Nguyen Tuong Van, an Australian, arrived in Singapore with around 400g of Heroin. He's on a transit to Australia, but was arrested at the Singapore customs for his illegal possesions. Soon ... the court dished out the death sentence in his face. Despite repetitive pleas for clemacy from Australia and the United Nations, the local government stood by its decision. Nguyen Tuong Van walked the Gallows on the 2nd of December, and was hanged at 6am in the morning.

Im not taking sides. I neither support nor disapprove of the usage of capital punishment for drug traffickers in our country. However, I do find it wierd that the actions of some Australians have deteriorated from being diplomatic to being plain childish. There have been calls to boycott Singapore goods, and there have been threats to ban trade with Singapore. Something of that sorts ... and last I read was that Union crews are refusing to service on Singapore airplanes on the Australian airports. Anyways ... check this out for what the Australian government speak of the "Chinese rogue port city" which we live in.
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2005/11/24/1132703316481.html

Quoting an article i read on the Straits Times forum,

An Australian who called the local ABC radio asking Australians to boycott Singapore products and services said: 'I know Australia would also lose income - but there is a human life here, and an Australian at that. I just wondered, you know'.

Isn't it obvious that they expect the law of any country to fit their likes and dislikes just because a culprit happens to be an Australian?

I stand in full agreement with the author. Seriously, im puzzled. This morning my sister (who just came back from Australia) tried to access an online data storage webpage based in Australia, and this is what she saw instead.

http://www.putfile.com/putfile-goodbye-to-singapore.php

once again, seriously, im puzzled.

Dumb Service Sector Jokes

2005-12-03T03:16:00.000+08:00

My sister read my post regarding my bitching about Singapore's service sector. Those occasional rude aunties and bo chup ppl behind the counters and stalls. She said she liked my post, and she said it was all too true.

Well, anyway, just to kill time, we talked about a series of ways to irritate ppl from the service sector. To disturb them a little and make a lame joke out of it ... haha, just for the fun of it.

So here goes!

*** drumroll ***

How to Disturb a ...

1) HairDresser:
walk into a Salon and ask for cut and colour. Dye your hair yellow/red or some outrageous colour. After that when he ask wad style u want to cut, tell him cut botah.

2) Policeman:
Go 120 on the expressway in a car, and if you're lucky, one of those Traffic Police will trail u and pull you over. When they walk up beside your car door, wind down the window and order from him, drive-thru style..
"2 Cheeseburger and 1 small coke." *adapted from Talkingcock.com*

3) MoneyChanger:
Find a money changer and ask him to change your 50 cents to a dollar.

4) Telephone Operator:
Dial 100. Then when the operator answers, say
"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

5) MacDonalds Service Crew:
Order a Cheeseburger, then request for a special order and ask the guy dun put cheese, dun put vegetable, and dun put the meat patty, but exchange it with a fish fillet with some sour cream on top.

6) Shopping Center Information Service:
Go Takashimaya, find the Information Service Counter. Ask the ppl there how to get to a certain shop. Wait for them to finish giving you the directions, then tell them...
"Ding Ding Ding! That is absolutely correct! And that makes you our lucky winner for the day!"
Shake their hand, and then run away before you kena hantam.

hahaha, now aren't your glad that the exams are over? Coz what you have just read is certainly IQ-degrading stuff.

Post Exams Log

2005-12-01T02:09:00.000+08:00

Finally it's over, and another semester came to a close. This examination period has taken much out of me, both mentally and emotionally. Mentally coz of the usual studying bit, and emotionally coz of the uncommon occurances that somehow found their way to me during one of my most vulnerable moments. I need time to recoup for what I have missed out, and I' ve got so much catching up to do on my social life.

Firstly, I think i owe most of my friends an apology, for cutting myself out from the social circle for a while. Throughout the examination period, I've been turning down most offers to meet up, get together, or even to study together with my friends at the library or something. Those people who have seen me through my Marist Days, you'd probably have seen this side of mine way too often. Haha ... in layman term, I will kinda turn myself into an anti-social nerdy freak of nature once I officially begin my Examination Prep Period. So ... to all out there whom I have turned down and hopefully not offended,

抱歉，抱歉。。。真的对不起！

and some special messages ...

to Kelvin : Sorry that I chose my tuna sandwich over MacDonalds at your house there with Jessie they all ... haha

To Desmond : Sorry I keep turning down your mahjong offers, but Im ready as hell now to take your money.

Ok, that ends that...

Hmm, some friendship tensions brewed a week before the exams ... was quite affected by it, and it gets kinda hard to concentrate on my books when i kept thinking about it. Had some hurtful comments hurled over at me which i kept reflecting upon. Maybe it's in my blood to be so sensitive to such thingies, but Im glad it's all come to past.

This aint the worst though ...

My best friend got into trouble ... in more ways than one. I shalln't go into details here to reveal his life, but the impact of it all entirely took away his mood to study. May sound strange and silly bah ... but somehow I myself became emotionally affected as well for a while ... after knowing him for close to 10 years. I'm a hardcore mugger when it comes to exams, and for that I cannot imagine the fear of having to enter an exam hall ... totally unprepared. It became harder for me to concentrate on my work worrying about his condition. That's one of the reasons why Im glad that the examinations are over. And that's also why I've turned down some of my friend's offer to club the night away tomorrow at IndoChine. I just got to meet him.

Hmm ... and so that's about all to remember and record for my Year 2 semester 1 examinations. My days became pretty routine during these periods ... Id wake up at 11am and study till 2am, allowing myself only a break at 5.30pm to watch Justice League on TV. By the way, I slept only around 2 or 3 hours before my Management and Organisation paper. Not becoz I've been mugging thru the night, but simply coz I got a bad dose of insomia. That sucked.

Dog tired...

2005-11-30T02:26:00.000+08:00

Had my final paper today.
Finally this semester has officially come to a close. Haha, joy!! Now I got 1 whole month of holiday to look forward to.

By now you've probably noticed the new blog skin I've put up. I thought my blog needed a face lift a long time ago, just that i was too lazy to do anything about it back then. Today, after my last paper, I actually felt lost for a while, since i usually rushed home to study and mug thru my notes for the next paper (As those of you who have known me long enough should know). After this burden is lifted, i dunno where else to head towards to ... haha, so I decided to design a new blog face for myself to have the first kill-time session of my 1 month long holiday. Do tell me if the texts are hard to read coz of the background colouring. Anyways, Im gonna post up my exam-period encounters in another post. Things keep happening in my direction during the last few weeks, I don't know why...

My aunt's moving to Singapore. And she's bringing her 2 "kids" along with her. Notice the open and close inverted commas, coz her kiddies are actually 2 doggies. My aunt aint married, maybe that's why she give her doggies so much attention and love. The sad thing is, pets flown in from outside Singapore have to go through a 1 month quarrantine period in some government pound. The doggies are at the pound now, while my aunt is back in Phuket to settle the moving procedeures. She wants me to visit them as often as possible to sayang them ... haha. I love dogs, and my aunt's doggies are really too darn cute to ignore. Anyways, after my last paper today, I went to visit them for the first time at Jurong. My mom has to go with me, coz the doggies haven't seen me before, only my mom. So I must go and 照个面 with them before I start visiting them myself next time. Haha.

Meet Gizmo!!! Haha, my Aunt's kinda westernized, ain't suprising she give her dog such an Ang Moh name. Gizmo's a pug!! That talking dog from MIB !!!

Cute Right?? Look at his face, its hilarious! Forever sad-looking one. Very fat, and very nice to carry. According to my mom, he can understand sometimes when u talk to him. When it's listening to you, it will just tilt its head to one side and stare at you. Haha, damn cute la.

And then we have Markie!! A white terrier! He's Gizmo's brother, and has a knack of socializing with others by biting them. He kept biting me and my mom's hands every time he got the chance to, but not pain la ... its just those kinda soft soft squeeze using his mouth. Always bully Gizmo one, biting him around. When we put them together in Gizmo's cage, he kept biting Gizmo's ear, then Gizmo just sit down there let him bite, or walk around a bit. I had to separate them, haha. But they're probably just playing la.

Here's another nice dog I saw in the opposite cage. It's a Chow Chow i think. Looks like a lion. Got another Chow Chow in the neighbouring cage which is black in colour. That one look like a Bear. Haha.

By the time we make a move, I was covered with Gizmo's fur. And much of my body surface area which wasn't clothed was covered with dog saliva. I had fun lah, the doggies really damn fun. I'll be coming back on Thursday to see them again.

And to those who frequent my house during semester holidays ...

EXPECT THEM! MUAHAHAHA!

Money or Fulfilment

2005-11-09T01:16:00.000+08:00

Spent practically the whole day doing Multiple Choice Questions to prepare for my GEM test tomorrow ... ack. 100 questions in 6+ hours ...

Anyways, i watched the 6pm show channel 8 just now. This bunch of guys actually won 8 million dollars from a toto draw. The next few scenes show them hopping mad around the house celebrating their luck.

Anyways ... it just makes me ponder.
What will you do if you're suddenlly bestowed with an immense amount of wealth enough to support you for a lifetime? You can have everything and anything you want, food, housing, cars etc etc. Basically, you won't ever have to worry about money making as long as you breathe.

Now the main question is, will you still choose to do what you're doing right now? To be more specific to us students, will you still see the need to mug your head off for exams and continue persueing your degree in University? Will the consideration for Honours or even Masters still be there? Will you still strive to get yourself that stable career? You've already got it made!! With that kind of windfall, you can bum around in your room for the rest of your life without a single worry. So ... what will you do?

Though not all, but i will believe that quite a number of us study and work for the sake of monetary benefits in the future ... like our parents used to tell us to study hard now so that we can earn more money in the future. Once the monetary consideration is dropped, is there still any value remaining in what we are pursuing right now? Really ... ponder on this topic. This is one of the subconscious equations in life, which led us on just becoz it's been the trend all these years. You study through childhood and work through adulthood just becoz it's what the society has been doing for generations. The point is ... do you see any real meaning or value in what you are doing right now?

I asked myself that question ... i kinda struggled mentally a little on the answer, but i guess I'd choose to carry on with my current progress. Money aside, it's important to have a sense of fulfilment in life I believe. I do not take up Engineering simply becoz of the promised monetary returns in the future, but simply coz I am interested in it. I want to learn about these techonologies which have enchanced our society... and I want to progress along with it. Given a choice, I'd rather be the person painstackingly making the progress than the one laying back to enjoy the fruits of the progress. Quoting Grace, money without fulfilment will leave our lives empty. I couldn't agree more ... So is there fulfilment from all that studying and mugging for a piece of paper we call the degree?

Which path will you choose? Drop me a Tag!! =)

Best Wishes to all my friends for their upcoming exams. Jia You !

Management and Organisation blues

2005-11-05T19:48:00.000+08:00

The keyword for today ...

"LOST"

like that show about plane crashes and little black boys getting chases by polar bears. If you find that line familiar, then i must thank you for following with my blog posts. It's from one of my previous posts. Hahaha

Anyways, im now at the nice cosy YIH study room once again, waltzing the night away with my laptop and textbooks. Ooooo i love this life, books, notes, equations, programs, equations, and totally no distraction at all! K Im halfway to insanity from studying, so you can forget about the last sentence. Anyways, since yesterday I've been trying to studying my Management and Organisation module. This is my only buisness module this semester ... and it sucks. The module is fun alrite, the gameshow-like lectures and all, but the studying procedeure just don't really appeal to me. Information is everywhere, the lecturer ask us to read the textbook, but the materials there just aren't enuff!!! The readings are rather dull and heavy ... sigh. That's why i used the word lost, coz i just dunno how to study for this module. My engin modules are rather straight forward to study and prepare. Just read the lecture notes or textbooks and do your tutorials and you're done. Cool, simple and easy ...

sigh, maybe its just me. Aww I dunno. Just feeling so lost and frustrated with all these.

...

...

... then ...

...

i consulted Xintian.

...

She has taken and passed the module with an A- grade, and what i now need more than anything else is solace and directions. How do I confront this dragon successfully ...
She offered her advice, for which Im truely grateful for ...

'Watch the webcasts, You should ... and pass the module, You will'

That's rephrased by me, Xintian don't talk Yoda. Bleah.
She convinced me that this of the utmost importance. Well ... it does regain my confidence to confront the module .. though I've wasted a lot of time on this start. Hahaha

Thanks Xintian!
I promise after exams if u jio me and siyong go Fong Seng again I wun reject.
Hahahaha

=D

Programming Lab 6 done !!

2005-11-04T16:10:00.000+08:00

YAY !!!

Long Live PeiKai whom pinpointed my problem based on a hunch. I did not reference my program to the maths library when i use the ceiling command, thus there was a compilation error!!! Long Live Pei Kai, im gonna set up a shrine in my room in his honour.

And I lift a glass of virtual champagne to everyone for a glorious toast to conclude this draggy and stupid programming lab. I know Huiching, Shan Shan and Xintian will prefer some beer though. Wenhui and Cheryl will drink Coke, fruit juice or plain water. Kelvin will order Lychee Martini or KilKenny's. Siyong I dunno and I dun care, maybe green tea.
I'll go for Heneiken!!!

Cheers to all !!!
Love ya All!!
The World is such a beautiful place to live in ....

with engineers of coz.

=D

Still Programming Lab 6

2005-11-04T15:08:00.000+08:00

Im at SOC computer lab now ... my program still won't run??
WHYYY!!! WHYYYY !!!!
it's about 3pm now ... if there's a moon outside i really feel like howling to it, that reveals my mood.

My friends all slowly getting it liao ... but Im still stuck!!! and NO ONE can tell what's wrong with my program... the output is correct, the algorithm is perfect, there is just no place for any mistakes! AcK, this is as comforting as a nuclear meltdown. Programming Lab is supposed to be my forte !! Yet it returned a compilation error at the Course Marker, while my error analysis shows up nothing !!! Ive consulted all the Programming Shen i know, all dun understand also ! This blasted piece of technology they employed to help in their marking is really dumb. I've been on this lab for hours ... and im already one foot into Nirvana, levitating on my roller chair. My finger tips have become molded to fit the shape of the keyboard and mouse ... and i think if i try hard enuff my eyes can emit photon lasers from all that computer monintor light and radiation ... i dunno what else to do. Im lost, totally lost .... like that show on airplane crash and boys being chased by polar bears. My mind is a blank, too tired to carry on ... maybe i should start taking up Yoga lessons. Anyways, here's a part of the darn program. enjoy

void search(map Table, vector searchlist){ string subject; int name_found; // works like a bool function for name found or not vector :: iterator v; map :: iterator m; for (v=searchlist.begin(); v!=searchlist.end(); v++) // iterate thru the search vector { subject = trim( *v ); // The subject shall be the name referenced upon by the iterator name_found = 0; // in the search vector for (m=Table.begin(); m!=Table.end(); m++) // For every new subject found, iterate thru the map to look for his data { if ( strcmp( trim(m->second.name).c_str(), trim(subject).c_str() ) ==0 ) // If the subject's name and the map referenced name { // is the same, author is found. cout <<>first << name_found =" 1;" name_found ="=">

Programming Lab 6

2005-11-04T00:28:00.000+08:00

The key words for today are ...

Vexed! Fed Up! Irritated! Disgruntled!

To relieve some of my steam, Im gonna do this blog entry in a highly "Engineering" fashion. If you do not understand what im babbling about, can approach the nearest Engineer for assitance.

C++ Programming Lab 6 opened like 3 days ago. This is the last C++ lab that we'll be doing this semester, and everyone's kinda looking forward for a grand finale after their fornightly formulation and design of beautiful and logical programming algorithms. While i know of many whom loathe these stupid labs, I actually kind of ... enjoyed some of them. Maybe it's just my thing, and i seldom have difficulties coming up with a simple yet effective algorithm for my problem solving. (That doesn't grant me high grades in written tests and exams though).

We electrical engineers have designed programs to solve many different wierd problems for this semester ... last week i designed a sorting algorithm to decide the winner of Project Superstar. 3 Weeks ago, we created an algorithm to help this stupid planet decide where the next Olympic is gonna be held. And even further back in time, i made a program to help the Prata man at the Science Canteen arrange his stacks of pratas with the biggest prata below and the smallest prata on top. Ok lah, all those still quite ok. Everything involved in the lab is a learning experience.

then this week... this ... this bloody bloody nao hiah week, the just have to come up with a program stupid enuff to keep us going for days. Im suppose to create a friendster-like network for a great mathematician. Can be done la, not much biggie for this. Butthen, they just have to include a Ta-Ma-De component which has no logical sense!!! Wah lau, they want us to decide properly the spaces input for names of great authors!!! So the term "***Janus Ala Davino" is not the same as "Janus Ala Davino" or "Janus Ala Davino***", where a * represents a space. What the shit is this hah? Siaow leh !!! K lah i spent some time on it ... theoratically can liao, my output swee swee, don't care this Mathematician guy (by the way, he's Paul Erdos) got how many friends i also can detect and register, but i just keep getting ZERO for my online submissions!!!

I showed my friend, a programming 神, my program ... he also don't understand why like that. My codes are almost identical to his, and he get 100 while I get zero. Siaow lah ... maybe is I not shuai enuff, or not tall enuff, that I have to spent 6 meaningless hours staring at my computer screen on the same day Ocean Ou De Yang shows his uncle face at the Padang. My output good liao what, with a slightly more improved program, I can even set up a friendster web myself for Rag and Flag next year. Then the faculty clubs and Halls Rag teams can give each other testimonials and be friendlier to each other. Then if people want to sabotage or saboh their own people's float, can easily upload to the network and share the picture with everybody.

Swee La.

Anyways, just for your viewing pleasure, here's a picture of a Nanobot i designed for my Nanoworld Project.

He is created with modern Nanotechnology. The width is suppose to be around 15 nanometers. If Im not wrong rite ... about 500 of these babies can fit on your fingertip.

He can make things from hambrugers to buildings, cool rite??

Then in the near future right, we will come up with technology to combine traditional robotics with
Nanotechnology and Biology. We will grow cells on
microchip and make them cooperate with each other!! So the cyborgs we make will have some human
components as well !!! For instance, this is a future life-form we can all expect to meet.

Steady La, Swee la.

YIH Study Room ... love bubbles

2005-11-02T01:39:00.000+08:00

it's 2am in the morning, and Im at the coolest place on Earth. Even cooler than Zouk or Chinablack, and conveniently located in the central of NUS, Im at .....

*drumroll*
THE YIH STUDY ROOM !!!!!

Weisern is beside me mugging away, compting electrical circuits like no tomorrow. I accomplished less, just read thru 3 or 4 sets of my C++ Programming Notes. Now this is the way to live life, to hole up inside an freezin aircon room without a bloody jacket and slogging ye bleddy life away in front of text books and notes. SIyong left around 1 hour ago ... John and Marcus are still busy fooling around in the NUSSU sec, studying in between their fooling around sessions. Exams are so darn near, cant you realise that? Ahhh. I tried to get a warm cup of coffee from the vending machine ... but the darn machine is spoilt!!! It wun read my card or take my coins! It just won't dispensed!!! The Engineer din do a good job at designing it ... so it seems, that is why Weisern and myself, as the future engineers of this world, the constructors of our society, the enchancers of our realms, must study hard !!! Piah Piah Piah, notes after notes, text books after textbooks. Im about to go home after i type fininsh this entry. I need enuff energy to stay awake and drive home or i'll just die on the road. Weisern, on the other hand, is staying the nite thru in this cool cool place. Not that he wants it, but he has to ... coz he has a library book with him dued today by 9am. I am tired ... mendally, feesically and speereetually ... so tired that i cant spell well... I feel my strength depleteing... and my energy slowing being dispersed to the surroundings. I grow weak ... ack ... why is everyone so piah around me, na bei slow down lah! Exam will run away is it? Take it easy man .... go take sometime to smell the flowers on the sidewalk. They smell real nice. And if you're free, you can go Fong Seng for supper as well, like what Xintian tried to jioed me and Siyong to do just now. If your lucky enuff, you'll be able to catch a good dose of dengue virus there. THat'll be totally rad, Awesom Y'all! THEN this thime the exams wun run away, it will wait for you and you will have one more sem to prepare for them. Zai Right? Sia La, let's all go Fong Seng to enjoy the pratas the people there made with their hands which they used to dig pee sai 5 min ago. K liao, now is 2.25am. I really go liao, no power liao. Bye Bye.

Remember ... Fong Seng ... Fong Seng ....

Time Wasting Personality Tests

2005-10-21T23:35:00.000+08:00

Your Summer Ride is a Jeep

For you, summer is all about having no responsibilities.
You prefer to hang with old friends - and make some new ones.

What's Your Summer Ride?

You Are Japanese Food

Strange yet delicious.
Contrary to popular belief, you're not always eaten raw.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child.
Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.
You cherish all of the details in life.
Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun.
You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

PINK??!!? This is sick ...! PRU themed huh ...

At Yer Service!!

2005-10-17T00:22:00.000+08:00

Im in the mood for bitching about things again, and I've chosen our country's service sector as tonight's subject. Im gonna bitch about it just like our beloved PM Lee during his National Day Rally Speech.

*ahem*

Seriously, what do we think of service today? Is it essential at all?
I'm not referring to those kind of direct services that earns you cash in exchange for your politeness, tolerance etc for more than 5 mintues. For instance, beauty consultants, doctors, Geylang ayams ... These people spend a large part of their profession attending to individual customers for long sessions.Personalized services, yeah. Their goody manners come with their jobs, and they'd probably see an immediate decline of customers if they lack them.

What I'm talking about is ... the kind of jobs in which the people face each individual customer for only a short while ... like 2 minutes perhaps or less. They'd probably get away with it clean even if their attitude wasn't very nice to the people they serve. For instance, hawkers, cashiers, shopkeepers etc. Hmm .. I don't really know if there's a term to define these kinda service jobs... but you get the idea. =p

I went to the petrol station just now for gas. A pump attendant spotted my car and directed me with a wave towards one of the pumps. After i disengaged my engine and step out of my car, I saw the guy smiling at me, even lowering his head a little in welcome. He asked me what gas I'd like to use, and made a friendly wave towards the different petrols they offer. I felt good, a simple gesture such as this can really help to brighten up my day a little more. I went on to shop around in the Tiger Mart as the attendant pumped my gas. As i was making the payment, I noticed that the cashier was constantly smiling at me, and she began to introduce to me some new offers they're having. After our transaction, she thanked me in a friendly tone. When i left the petrol station, I was indeed feeling way better than when I just arrived.

That's the magic of good service. Sadly, not many people out there adhere to this ... since they wun really be making additional cash from smiling more or saying a simple "thank you". Sometimes in this darned society, anything that doesn't make extra cash isn't worth attempting. It won't make much of a difference to the NUS Biz Canteen Western Food uncle's wallet whether he treats each student with respect or not. Many of my friends have been insulted by him whenever they took up more than 10 seconds of his time in their purchase ... whether by asking for the price of a certain special food combi, or by not making their orders fast enuff whenever he gestured to them for orders ... yeah Im talking about his infamous "Next Please!" bit. Its rude ... though chances are people will still remain in his line for good western cuisine, this kinda treatment probably spoils your day and destroys a good mood.

This is far from an issue to do with monetary gains. Rather, it's got more to do with morals and the good willed nature of human beings. That's what many Singaporeans lack today I believe... Saying a simple "thank you" may not really make u any richer, but knowing that you made someone's day is really a gift worthy enough. You may not feel it as much as the customer, but it's really there, and YOU know it. It really makes a load of a difference whether you smile at your customer and thanking him while looking at him in the eye, or when you look away from the customer and bleaked a mono-tone "Tang Que!". Quoting myself from a previous post, "we should learn to treat others more seriously" ... this applies even when you face people for less than a minute.

What I believe ... or rather my idealogy, is that everyone around us should really be treated as a friend, until they appear hostile to you. In that sense, even a passing stranger on the road is more of a friend than an enemy to us. All these is based on the assumption of the good-natured personality of humans in general. Also, human are social creatures, and we tend to feel good if treated well, even from someone we met just 5 seconds ago. Ok, that's common sense, but how many of us really see the point in that? Why spoil a day when you can make it brighter instead?

Though there're many others like me whom preached good service, many desired it solely for improving the image of the organisation. It does help, but that definately isn't the main point of it all, no? This is a feeling which comes from the heart, a special kind of "professionalism" in service with no strings attached. We shouldn't do this just coz it'll leave a good image and impression of Singapore in the minds of tourists ... if that's really the sole purpose, then there's not much worth in that extra smile or handshake.

Treat others more seriously... learn to love.
=)

**********

Am i thinking too much? Is it this society or is it just me?
Hahaha, perhaps the night is getting to me. Gd Nitez!

7 things

2005-10-12T20:27:00.000+08:00

7 things that scare me
1. Lonliness
2. Examination Stress
3. IPPT
4. Death ... of those dear to me
5. Girls taller than me who still wear high heels
6. Rejection from friends and loved ones
7. Driving while relying on other people's directions

7 things that I like most
1. Having friends around to hang out with
2. Sleeping without setting the alarm
3. Completion of a project/tutorial
4. Someone whom I can really talk to ...
5. A good book, a good cup of coffee, and a comfortable chair
6. Sushi !!
7. Designing, Publicity related assignments

7 important things on me or in my room
1. My laptop
2. My amulet
3. My Handphone
4. My bed
5. My wallet, IC, money blah
6. My priceless Magic Card collection
7. My Piyo Piyo stuffed toy from Union Camp

7 random facts about me
1. A japanese food fanatic who always dine at Genki sushi... juz coz its near
2. I dun play/watch soccer
3. I always want to be closer to nature
4. I think a darn lot about life ... this and that. Not very "engineer-like"
5. Damn I love beer.
6. I dun quite like the way PAP is running our country. bleah
7. I have the ability to de-activate alarm clocks in my sleep

7 things I plan to do
1. Do my tutorials more often and pay attention to lectures
2. Wash and wax my car more often
3. Finally start working on my diet
4. Go swimming and jogging more often
5. Get a doggy, a pug actually... gonna have it soon
6. Treat people around me more seriously
7. Cultivate myself in the Arts

7 things I can do
1. Disturbing people frequently, call people up to tok
2. Design!! I love Adobe!!
3. Doing intra-veneous infusion on my friends
4. Do Splits !
5. I can do Algebra also
6. Go town find cafe read book drink coffee alone for the whole day
7. Sleep in lecture, and listening to the lecturer in my dream

7 things I can't do
1. Sleep less than 5 hours per day
2. Grow taller
3. Take good pictures, damn i hate cameras
4. Touch my nose with my tongue
5. Drive confidently around without relying on my road directories
6. Going thru more than a month without sushi
7. Stay quiet for too long

7 words /phrases I say most
1. Chill man!
2. Jesus!!
3. To Jingting-> How how how?? Jingting's usual reply-> Die lah!
4. Freakin Hell!
5. Can Be Done!
6. Steady La!
7. Today i feeling very sian ...

Thanks Vignesh for this time-wasting thingie

My Cultural Definations

2005-10-09T01:45:00.000+08:00

Xintian told me that my blog is good, and that I should make it a habit to update it more often. Im so honoured! Hahaha.

When i started out blogging, I decided to make my blog a journal for my own personal view points and emotions, rather than the usual daily log and schoolday whinings. Somehow I like it that way better, everyone's life routines in NUS are more or less the same these days. I prefer to probe the mind, and maybe redefine certain things in my own right. Heh, but coz of this I dun usually get much things to blog about. It really depends on when my inspirations come ... and even when they do, school work and tutorials come first.

**********
The progress of mankind has kinda set up a social culture that many of us readily take into our pace through life. Study thru childhood, work thru adulthood, and quite often seeing happiness in terms of monetary benefits and material gains. To many, money has become a god. Having a bigger car or a smaller MP3 player than your friends became a dominant way of achieveing happiness or satisfaction. I've read up a little on this issue, as well as talked to some friends about it. What is it with this society...

It is true that we cannot easily break free from this "standard" life cycle that we have subconsciously established. It really takes a nut to decide to quit his job and run naked down a field of lushful greenery just to savour the taste of freedom. Its not easy to simply quit the books now just because we want to live life our own absolute way, whatever that is. We'll probably end up nowhere in the future, and that really sounds unacceptable eh? Such is the curse of modern society. So ... am i contradicting myself with this?

Well ... this is my reply.... I do not mean that we all should disregard every traces of the modern society system. Hierachy, Progress, Politics, blah blah blah, all these sickening logics can stay as much as the people cries out for them. But instead of completely indulging yourself in this "default culture", why not keep an open mind and build yourself a unique sub-culture which is true and appreciated by yourself? There's no rule for us to completely adhere to what our ancestors have passed down, no?

I still read my lecture notes, I still mug for my tests, and I still hope to drive a bigger car.
But the difference is, I see much more in life than just all these. I pay attention to the people around me, I train myself to see not just the flower but to appreciate its scent and i learn to find the pleasure in making others smile. I don't become any richer from all these, but I'm certainly happier for some reason. In short, learn to love. I don't mean love in a guy girl relationship, but love in general. Even when u dislike someone, try to give them a wave instead of the finger. See the joy in giving things over the pleasure in receiving them. The world really looks so much brighter that way, and this will definately become a much better place to live in.

In a way, the blind often sees what many others can't. In my own words, they may be plagued with the curse of darkness, but they see more colours in life than us.

The best things in life are free.
Indeed, but how many of us really know what that means?

MidTerm Blues

2005-09-25T15:09:00.000+08:00

Mug mug mug ... what a week.
Literally the entire week spent behind my study desk at home flipping thru notes and books, and its supposed to be my term break. My lecturers really know how to put down a student's holiday mood, ack.

Good thing though, that it gave me some sort of motivation to finally catch up on 2 of my tougher modules. However, being the nerd that I am, i actually forced myself to skip a few fun events during the week i was initially looking forward to, all for a few extra hours of revision. There was Huiching's birthday Bash at Timbre with EIC, booze and women, as well as Sin Chang's FOCC dinner treat on Friday in campus. I hope they don't hate me for this, hahaha. And if YOU happen to be amongst those who kept trying to get me out that Wednesday evening,

please try to stare at the picture below for around 10 seconds before proceeding to the message that follows:

Im sorry!!! Sincerely really very sorry!!! 对不起！！！非常非常对不起！！ Aku Sunguhh minta maaf!! =(
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry

*please scroll down*

If you buy that, please put a tag on my blog to say that u forgive me, and you'll continue to share your booze with the alcohol-starved Janus. Wahaha!!

Sometimes, in this sense, I guess i wasn't exactly practicing what i preached (read previous blog entry) in life, but what can i do for now? Haha, im groomed and brought up in an environment that sooo encourages nerdhood. Guess this is one of my major spiritual handicaps bah...

*****************

Once in a while the writer of this blog gets sick of mugging, and starts taking pictures of his
surroundings just for fun.

Presenting ...... My study Desk!!!

and next we have ...

The Giant Tree outside my window !!!

I always think its the tallest structure around my neighbourhood.

I rummaged through my study drawer hoping for some source of entertainment ... and I came across something interesting. Check it out, it's my "Note to Future Self".

Haha, this might sound silly to some people, but i have a knack to scribble some messages on a note pad, then stash it away somewhere where the future me can find it again. It doesn't always have to be reminders to do this and that, but most of what i wrote are just simply records of what i had been doing then, maybe some greeting messages as well to lighten up my current mood. Haha, this one reads ...

"Keep your tutorials neat! and staple them together with the solutions for easy reference... avoid tea/coffee at night to prevent sleeplessness, and drink some warm milk or milo to induce sleepiness for insomia nights....... Im studying EE (Electrical Engineering module) now, Good day? =) "

I wrote this when i was mugging for my exams last semester, almost 5months ago ... and you can probably guess that I was having trouble falling asleep at night. Haha, its kinda cute, something like an email to your future self. I'd write myself a nice future note, put it away somewhere, forgot about it for a few months and chance upon it a long time later. Some of you guys may find it wierd, but its quite delighting for me to be able to read up about what I myself am thinking and doing back then, in a totally different situation from what I am going thru right now.

What do you think?

Go Figure!

All I ask for a Haven.

2005-09-21T00:48:00.000+08:00

A comfortable chair, a good book, and a decent cup of coffee or tea.

That's all I ask to make my day. Ever since the new Spinelli outlet came to NUS in the University Hall, I've been patronizing it every now and then ... sometimes up to 3 times per week. Usually, Id order a simple coffee to lift my spirits, complemented with a hard piece of almond biscotti. I always choose the seats overlooking the glass panel over to those cosy sofas. There's nothing spectecular out there to be seen though ... but for some reason the simple scenery of the fountain injects me with ease. After settling down on my chair, Id just grab my book and read my heart out for the next few hours ... sipping my coffee and taking a bite out of my snack in between.

It really enlightens the soul ... to be away from the noisy routines of campus life once in a while. I guess this is not a really popular practice with most people though ... haha, many others around me are either discussing projects or doing tutorials. I guess Im different in some ways. There's no way one can completely eliminate the burdens and problems in your life without confronting them, but there are certainly ways to help people feel more receptive to them. This is one of my methods. All the time in the world, just to yourself and your soul within. These are the moments when you can finally think through your own life without the influence of other voices. In other words, personal reflections. One can sit through his session for hours without muttering a single word, yet learning so much more than can ever be taught from the books in a day. For a while, I am truely at peace with myself.

People often get caught up doing the things that they thought are important in life ... and after the endless routines are established, noone finds the reason to break out of them. Id really feel sad for anyone who continues his mindless cycles till the day of his passing. Us, for instance; We have spent a third of our lifetimes chasing after a piece of degree. Has anyone ever really slowed down and pondered .. "Is that all to life?" or "Is there anything else i can embark on?". Let's think about this ... will you rather chase after your own dream, your one true childhood career, or will you prefer to get entangled in the ancient strands of "destiny" set up by the cogs of progress in our mad society. My guess is, most of us will have probably chose the former when asked. As we all grow old, most of us will have probably diverted from that initial decision either consciously, or subconsciously... What's truely important to you? What do you cherish? What does your heart look out for in your future...?

Are you at peace with yourself?

We all need teachers in life. We all do ... someone to light our paths to keep us from straying from our dream.

Next time if you're looking for me during one of my free periods, you'll know where to find me.
Cheers =)

By the Way ... the book Im reading now is called "Tuesdays with Morrie", and I highly reccomend it.

My Centennial Log!! Dr William Tan, the Living Legend

2005-09-18T18:07:00.000+08:00

What a day ... WHAT A DAY.

Today's the DBS NUS Heritage Run event, a 10km fun run/walk that starts from the Bukit Timah Campus all the way to the NUS Sports Track. There's also a Centennial Carnival going on down at the SRC field, and many more other events happening at the same place. Now that the day is over, Im glad that I was dragged by Sin Chang into joining the organising committee a month ago. The salary for my efforts is one thing, but the experiences gained today goes a far longer way than any other rewards.

**********
Heritage Run

The day got off to a lousy start coz of the bloody weather. It started to pour at around 6am, and things began to go wrong. Many marshallers were late due to the rain. The heritage run flag off timing has to be extended from 7.30am till 8.40am. The marshallers were deployed late, and so were the waterpoints. The initial plan was for me to slack inside the ambulance throughout the event, but i somehow took up the marshallering manager's job due to some logistics cock up. Again, many thanks to the bloody weather for this.

There's a convoy of vehicles following a distance behind the last runner. All the marshallers and logistics equipment will be picked up after the last runner went past them. I had hoped for this to be a smooth operation. I do not believe there's any way for us to finish collecting all the marshallers anytime later than 10.30am. That's about 2 hours from the flag off timing. Even if the participants were to walk casually all the way from BTC to NUS, they should have more than enough time to reach the NUS campus. A bunch of girls proved me wrong. Personally, I do not doubt their ability to walk 10km in less than 2 hours, if they hadn't patronized MacDonalds halfway in their heritage run. That was probably the cause of the horrible delay in the logistics pack up.

Anyways, everything was sorted out eventually, after a few more trips to and from NUS to BTC. It had been quite fun, actually ... to be fully in charge of a bus full of First Aiders and Marshallers. Suddenlly feel very important, hahaha.

**********
PRU Booth!!

PRU was given a booth for the Centennial Carnival a few days ago. After some brainstorming with Jeffery, we decided to sell Chicken Nuggets, French Fries and Lychee Syrup. Ok here's the dumb thing ... our booth is within a tentage in the middle of the SRC Sports Field. There's a regulation in NUS that prohibits us from cooking or frying anything at the stalls and booths without a proper licence. In other words, all food to be sold must be prepared beforehand elsewhere.

AND SO ... Our ever-resourceful PRU members came up with an outstanding never-before-seen logistics plan. We divided our manpower into 3 teams. A team to fry the food at the Old Kent Ridge Residence Pantry about 200 metres away, a team to deliver the food from the pantry to the booth, and a team to tend the booth and sell/market our wares. Wahaha, and in the end ... i think we still made a loss. But at least we got a lot of leftover chicken nuggets to eat ourselves. Taste quite nice.

**********
Carnival Stage

Jesus JeSuS JEEE-SUS!!!

A 6-year old boy boy who plays the drums like a heavy metal rocker. Now I've really seen it all. I really need to go out more often.

This little dude's name is Evan or Evans. He's only six this year, and he learns the drums since he was only 2 years old.

God, if that's not talent, then i don't know what is. This puny looking kiddo here plays the drums like the King of Percussions. I don't even know how to hold a drum-stick properly.

**********
Centennial Challenge by Dr.William Tan

This is one amazing guy. A true legend worthy of all compliments ... and I thought such people were already extinct. Though handicapped physically, Dr.Willian Tan's way stronger than most of us mentally. Since 8.30am, he has been racing around the SRC track continuously in an attempt to hit a 100km record. That's 250 rounds around the track ... on a wheel chair racer that looks kinda heavy to operate.

He accomplished his task at around 3pm ... after more than 6 hours of intensive propelling. All supporters ran alongside with him for his finale round, including the cheerleaders and myself. The atmosphere was truely glorious when he finally hit the finish line. The applause was insane, and Dr.Tan's face was beaming with joy after his victory.

This is a man built from willpower and strength alone. He has accomplished what most people with healthy legs could not. This guy has earned my admiration and respect on all levels, and perhaps Ill include his story on another post soon.
I see a hero in him.

Alhough I have a pair of healthy legs to walk with, Dr. William Tan is definately more complete a man than I am.

A New Dawn

2005-09-16T00:40:00.000+08:00

Life indeed is full of surprises.

A year ago I stepped into the realm of PRU with a bunch of friends, under the influence of some of my Union Camp seniors. I didn't know what PRU was, neither did I know how it functions. I just went along with the flow. I even had the mindset to leave the club halfway, since I was prepared to commit to the NUS Taekwondo Club...

One fine night, everyone was summoned to attend the Annual General Meeting. I went, and sat through the session with a blank mind. Little did I expect that I'll walk away that night becoming the Creative Manager of PRU, with around 20 members under my charge. I struggled to sleep that very night ... I cant. Im nervous about the challenges ahead, and Im not sure if I know what i just accepted.

A year later, I was again summoned to the Annual General Meeting. I had told everyone that Im not running for any new post, but little did I know that I'll eventually leave the Lecture Theatre becoming the Vice Chairperson of PRU. For that decision, I have my supportive friends to thank ... whom constantly nominated me and urged me to reconsider. Honoured by everyone's sincereity, I revoked my initial decision.

****************************************

and ...

this shall be a good year for the NUSSU Public Relations Unit. We had created mircales within our beloved campus, and no doubt we shall do it again. Once more, from our revolutionary projects we shall weave the webs of unity to link the entire campus. All Halls, all faculties, all clubs and all students shall revel together in joy and work under the same common flag as one single entity. New lessons will be learned, and new alliance forged while the old ones renewed. Not only will we see progress, but all shall witness evolution. Cheers to all, and I raise a glass of virtual champange in everyone's honour with the backdrop of this glorious New Dawn.

Good things.

Good times.

Thinking Thru ...

2005-09-06T19:54:00.000+08:00

Janus is stressed.

He's got mountains of work piled up high in his face, with barely enough time to even look through them. Maybe it's his time management skills, or maybe he's just plain lazy. However, that doesn't change the fact that he is stressed. Through the weekends, he has been stuck to his desk trying to chew down all the information from the lecture notes. That is, if he's not scribbling away at some tutorials or assignments dued in the coming week. It was weeks ago since he visited anywhere else other than school. Janus wonders if this is it to life, the constant routine of school and home which repeats itself every week. He also wonders why he is writing in third person. Janus thinks a lot when he has a little free time.

Janus wants a life. Or rather, he want more out of life away from the books and notes. He decides to find time to resume his weekly swim in NUS. He also hopes to catch a movie sometime this week. He especially wants to watch the picture "March of the Penguins". It is a documentary movie about penguins. Janus likes animals, and he likes documentaries, and he thinks penguins are pretty cute. He wonders who he should call along to accompany him. Maybe he can organise a gathering, or maybe he can date some girl out. Then after that, maybe he can do a little shopping in Takashimaya, and perhaps chat over a cup of coffee at a cafe.

Janus is going to attend the PRU (Public Relations Unit) Annual General Meeting this Friday. He wonders if he should run for any of the management committee posts. He doesn't want to be the new Chairperson or Vice-chairperson. He craves to do projects, and hopes to obtain a place in the new Student Leaders' Camp committee. He doesn't mind being the Project Director or Vice Project Director for the camp. However, Janus has another commitment in December, during the period of the camp. He might have to go for his jaw operation in December, and will probably be bedridden for a while. How is he to help out in the committee then? Janus is sad, he wants to help out in the committee, but he's also afraid to burden his friends if he really does have to be absent. He has been troubled with this matter for a while. He tried to make a decision, but he just couldn't seem to come up with any good solution. Maybe he needs a break, or maybe he needs a vacation.

Wee.

Haven of Dreams

2005-09-03T00:05:00.000+08:00

Tongcai asked me about my ambition, and i told him what I have been telling myself for the past 5 years.

I want to become an Engineer, one whom specialises in the research of cutting-edge technology that will probably take everyone to a new era of progress. Nanotechnology ... Microelectronics ... Robotics ... subjects which I hope to get involved in the future.

And then he asked me ...
"But what is your ideal ambition? If you can break free from the repeating burdens of progress and evolution, and if you can achieve whatever you hope to achieve in an ideal dreamlike environment..."

This question made me ponder on something which I haven't think about for ages ... it certainly brings back much childhood memories, those days when I would just sit by the swing in my Grandma's garden thinking about my future. Unsure of what the true face of society resembles, I can only dream. An astronaut? A pilot? A teacher? A comic book artist ...

I want to be an artist, and paint the face of the world as it was made to be seen by Mother Nature herself. Unexplored paradises untainted by human influence, a touch of nature with her magic undisturbed. To forever live in a world of colours and fantasy, free from the smokes of competition and noises from the cogs of progress.

I want to be a wanderer, free as the wind with neither worries nor obligations. To walk as far as my feet can bring me, and to watch the sights which we have overlooked in our daily drive towards progress.

"And you?" I asked Tongcai ...

A farmer. To learn the Earth in its purest form. To understand the basic creation of Mother Nature, to see and appreciate the life residing in every seed. Blend in with nature herself, and learn to adapt to whatever is offered around us, instead of forcing our environment to adapt to us.

Food for thought? Indeed ...
A toast to the dreamers.

Cheers. =)

Symptoms

2005-09-02T21:13:00.000+08:00

Something's wrong with me.
I don't feel right.

My appetite's increased, and i get hungry more often.
I go for seconds more frequently during my lunch breaks.
I tire out easily, especially when i'm doing my tutorials.
Im also getting these dizzy spells once in a while.

I think Im pregnant. One of you must have done it.
Ok who was it?
Own up now.

Ye Virtual Oath

2005-08-30T21:08:00.000+08:00

And by this blog entry, i hereby swear an oath of dedication to completeing my CS1102C C++ Programming Lab. It can be done, and it will be done ... by night or day, sun or rain. It matters not that the notes are unclear, nor does it matter that the lecturer mumbles through his lessons. Shall I fail myself in my self-assigned tasks, may I be cursed to ...

1) eat at Buisness Canteen's noodle shop for the rest of this semester.
2) find my parking space at home to be kopped by other people more often.
3) avoid Ben & Jerry's ice cream for the next 2 months.
4) not get my $80 claim back from Ken Tan for buying cloths from Spotlight for the PRU booth.
5) have my Honda Civic transformed itself into a Proton Saga.
6) have Gavin puke on my car.

And thee shall bear witness to the sealing of this oath.

Cheerio

Driver Issues

2005-08-22T13:47:00.000+08:00

It's a bad day. Or rather it's going to be a bad day.
I just knew it, i knew it even before my day officially started. I made the conclusion at about 8am while driving to school for my 8.30am lecture. Everything felt wrong, straight from the moment I got out of bed. The feeling amplied once I fit into my Honda's driver seat. I dun feel as comfortable as I should, for some reason. Usually Id steer with just one hand on the normal roads, my left usually, with my right hand propped up against the side window ledge. It's just habit i guess, perhaps my brain registered it as the most comfortable orientation in the dimensions available to me. Often i wouldn't even notice my posture until I've driven for quite a distance. Today, however, i drove with both hands instinctively right from the start. I do not know why. This is coupled by a gloomy feeling within, as if indicating an omen of some of sort. I kept shuffling about in my seat uncomfortably... until i reached the AYE. It's jammed, as i would expect at this time of the morning. I drove along the outermost lane, which i assume is the fastest.

Then it happened...

The BMW in front of me started to brake, indicating a slowing down of the traffic. I followed suit. The next moment, the darn BMW reduced from around 40 mph to a near halt, apparently the driver made a sudden harsh step on the brakes. The bumper of the BMW, for a while, seemed actually to speed towards myself. I braked instantly, bringing my car to a near halt as the BMW did. And from my rear mirror, I saw the Toyota behind made a dangerous emergency brake due to the folly of the drivers ahead, the car body bouncing drastically upwards from the impact of the spared kinetic energy. I did not see what happened to the cars behind the Toyota, I dared not even imagine what could have happen.

Jesus! That could have caused a bloody accident! Had the drivers behind the BMW been less observant, a line of vehicles all the way to the back could have crashed into each other!!

I wondered if it was my fault though ... that i tailed the BMW too closely behind. A part of me told me otherwise... I do not know, and I do not wish to know.

******

Many of my friends had often mocked or suanned me for being a lousy driver, reminding me of my follies or near misses on the road in my early days of driving. Initially i laughed along, as I too registered that view when I've just acquired my license.

Much time has past, however, since my period of negligent behaviors on the road. I cant help but feel distrusted or even pissed when more often than not, I kept being "reminded" of my "substandard" driving skills in front of my friends. I know I'm not the best driver on the road, but I do feel that I do not deserve the repeated taunts on the issue. A few times is tolerable, we all suann-ed each others in our social life. When it becomes too repetitive, however, it really became what sounded like a nicer way to say "Man, you suck!". I too have feelings, though perhaps some may feel it's more sensitive than average. I know I'm confident on the road, and I know I can drive, and I know that I am skilled in one way or another behind the wheel. I've always potrayed myself as a safe driver, or at least I tried to be one, although I too have my moments of folly.

To err is only human, which I am one.

Fark, I did it again.

2005-08-22T00:16:00.000+08:00

I've done it again.
I've bummed my weekend thru. Assuming that I rightlfully deserved the study-break which I gave myself on Friday, I've got a total of 48 hours to accomplish my task of finishing some readings and 3 tutorials dued in the coming week. The former has been briefly touched on, while the furthest that I've gotten to with the latter would be to convert them from softcopy to hardcopies. Even as I am typing, I'm trying to restrain myself from tearing my hair. Once again, I've managed to waste my weekend without achieving much productive efforts. Recollecting on the non-academic activities that I have engaged in, on the other hand, one would have readily thought that the holidays are still ongoing.

Over the past 2 days, I have glued myself in front of my laptop playing some dumb game from miniclip.com, downed a tub of Ben and Jerry's and finished my Warcraft Novel while massaging my legs with my Mom's OSIM massager. Precious time wasted in engaging in meaningless activities ... maybe I really need to hire someone to be around to discipline me. A consolation though, that I have actually TRIED to attempt of Programming tutorial (CS1102C), though with no much results. The notes the lectures covered made no sense at all, as agreed by a few of my friends, and the textbook was of little help to the tutorial questions. Somehow I felt that it was more of the lecturer's fault than mine. Hmm, but maybe its just another one of my psychological consolation.

Well, perhaps the next best thing to do now will be to head off to bed. At least that way I'll have more time to sleep before my 8.30am lecture later, and thus lowering the probabilty that I'll doze of during the lecture. But If I do doze off, perhaps it's the lecturer's fault again for failing to make his lesson interesting and understandable enough to keep our attention going.

Well ... whatever ...
If you are interested to apply to be my personal discipline master/mistress, do drop me a tag.

心声：第二篇

2005-08-18T22:37:00.000+08:00

月亮总爱调戏人们的心情，往往在人们心情最暗淡的时刻显得最明亮动人。
仿佛是大自然给于人们的提醒，告诉大家希望总是存在的。
天色越暗，头上的星空就闪烁得越耀眼迷人。
即使眼前的状况是多么的恶劣，多么的悲惨，别忘了无望之中还是有希望存在的。

=)

Stiff Neck

2005-08-18T12:31:00.000+08:00

Apparently my sleeping posture last night isn't the best that can be achieved. That explains why i am having a stiff neck today. Im undergoing a passive ache on the right side of my neck just behind my ear. Ack, it's horrible!! My neck won't allow me to turn my head more than a few degrees of angle towards the right. Whenever i tried to do that, it hurts!!! AHHHH!! It sux, yes it does ... It sux to the core, though it does not suck as much as CORS. Ok that's a lame one ... but you get the basic idea. Everyone definately went thru this condition before, at one time or another. You know how it feels, it doesn't feel good. It isn't even orgasmic. I've tried getting a friend to massage it non-stop for like 5min, and it just doesn't help. Perhaps a neck brace might work, relieve the aching a bit ... but I do not own a neck brace, and neither is it sold in NUS Co-Op bookstores. Im pretty sure NUH has some, but Im too lazy to walk or even drive there for it.

I believe I do not have to explain too much to everyone what a stiff neck condition is. From my experience, it will not go away until the end of the day when you tuck into bed. Somehow the neck unstiffens after a good nights sleep. How that happens remains one of the unsolved mysteries of the world. Don't listen to what the doctor say, they're usually too professional to even bother about mortal conditions such as a simple stiff neck. It's just there, and it won't go away until you sleep it at night. Cheerio.

Sometimes ... it's conditions like these that reminds us that we have been taking many things in life for granted. With this passive pain in my right neck, my ability to glance rightwards is impaired. I drove to school, and only in the midst of traffic did I realise that it's too painful for me to even check my blindspot. I mean, i still can find out what's on my right view, but I'll have to turn my entire body rightwards to achieve that. My mobility is affected, my flexibility and my freedom of motion. It truely sucked ... and i crave for it to go away. In other words, I hope I can get back to my normal mobility status again. Only when I have a function impaired, do I then realise the benefit of being normal. My neck wasn't like this before today, I can look around me freely without any pain limitation. However, in the past, I took this freedom for granted. It never crossed my mind at all before today, that one fine day my ability to look rightwards will be greatly imparied.

Perhaps its a human thing, that we only cherish and appreciate what we already have, when we lose it. When we are still enjoying its benefit, we simply take it for granted, and assumed blindly that it'll be there forever. That applies to everything and everyone. Come one day, the thingie is taken away from us, and only then will we realise how precious and important it is to us. For the first time in a long while, we will grieve for its loss, and then crave for its return. If it doesn't return, we'll perhaps be basked in eternal regret. BUT if it does return, the whole cycle usually repeats ... we thanked for its return ... remain grateful for a while ... and then forget about it altogether.

ah ... the mysteries and complications of the human mind.

End of Vacations, Back to Reality

2005-07-31T02:51:00.000+08:00

Check out my last entry. It's dated 3rd of July, and now's its already the eve of August.
Time flies, really ... I can still vagulely recollect the joy and zest that I felt at the end of my last examination paper on the 3rd of May.

My vacation holiday's almost over, just like that. The new semester's starting in a while.
Thinking back, I haven't really accomplished much in my 3 months study break. Let's see, I've worked a total of 6 days for the Science Centre, attended Union Camp as Piyo's Councillor, planning and doing stuffs for the Centennial Rag Day, washed my aunt's car a few times, waxed it once ...

bah. Whatever ... life goes on.

Now for the list of things which i could have done, but didn't set out doing them.

1) Driving to JB for supper
2) Go overseas backpacking
3) Research about NUS NOC program
4) Go gymming twice a week
5) Wax my car more often
6) Master parallel parking
7) Eat frog porridge at Geylang
8) Get a girlfriend
9) Plan my damn modules
10) Try to sell Gavin my sleeping bag which he puked on. I aint gonna sleep on that damn thing.

Well ok. Now for the log of the day, some readings for your interest and for my future recollections.

I slept half the day away, all the way till 5pm.
Im suppose to meet XiuYan at City Link at 5.30pm, but guess i kinda overslept. It was already 5.20pm when i stepped out of my door, and i took a cab down to City Hall despite the heavy traffic near Padang due to NDP rehearsals. That consoles my guilty conscience a little actually, hehe, at least I TRY not to be too late.

The cab fare was around 7 bucks, and the ride took quite a while, coz the driver took a longer road to avoid the stupid NDP crowd and road blocks. Seriously... I thought it'd be cheaper and maybe faster If Id jut ask the driver to drive me to the MRT station nearest to my home. Im only 4 MRT stops away from City Hall ... Haha. I was actually kinda hoping that the 7 bucks I paid will partly atone for my sin for being late. But then again, as i was fighting my way thru the Citylink crowd to Gelare cafe where im supposed to meet XiuYan, I wondered if it would be a better idea to use the 7 bucks to buy a cake or something. Well, I did skip dinner to avoid wasting more time, and perhaps i could have offered to share my cake with XiuYan. Then perhaps she'll forgive me if she's unhappy. heee~

Anyways, we had our caffeine (no cake =( ), and went over to Marina to catch Fantastic 4 at 6.50pm. I bought a drink+Pop corn combo as i always did for movies, but this is the first time someone made me eat and drink alone in the cinema. Popcorn aint that fattening laa ... corn is supposed to be healthy also. =P

Nice show!! After that we headed over the Paulaner's German Brewery for a round of drinks. Haven been there for quite a while, the dark beer that place serves is still the best!!! Stayed there for quite a while chattering away, and getting a little high at the same time. The alcohol slowly penetrated our nervous system, and that's a good thing ... coz it opened up more topics to talk about. Conversations naturally becomes more spontaneous and interesting when your high. Haha. They should serve debaters some shots before their debating sessions, that'll get them cracking.

Emptied our glass at around 11pm, both of us didn't feel like heading home.
We took a walk down to Esplanade, and strolled along the Singapore River towards Fullerton 1. Im now officially labelling this stretch of area as my favourite 散心 spot. The breeze in your hair, the gentle outlook of the surroundings, the calm waves of the river, everything fits perfectly into a symphony that takes my troubles away. God i love this place...

We wandered along the riverside for a while ... caught up with each other's lives thus far. We talked about anything and everything practically ... the past, the present, the future, good things, bad things ... anything goes. We're all social creatures, and a good conversation really enlightens the soul. That's what everyone needs once in a while, and its definately what I need. Many friends in school know me for my carefree attitude, and most have been cruelly exposed to my lame side. Yet now that i think of it, I haven't really communicated much with most of them. I do have a sentimental side, at least I think I do ... haha.
I think a lot, sometimes too much ... and it seriously feels good to relate my thoughts to someone, even if they do not completely understand it. I guess school just isn't the place for this kinda heart to heart talks.

We loafed around till 1am, then we took a cab home.
She overpaid me for her share of the cab fare ... Ill save the extras for my cake next time.

Day well spent Id say.
Chicken Soup does taste good. =)

Dinner+Movie ... Good ol Gang.

2005-07-03T01:12:00.000+08:00

Met up with the good ol gang at Suntec today. We're suppose to be celebrating Weehou's birthday, which was 3 days ago. No cakes, no candles, no presents wrapped in toilet paper, just a clean, simple dinner and movie outing. Wasn't too bad for a change, one should really do away with all the cake and surprise gimmicks once in a while.

Couldn't drive to Suntec, the NDP preview thingie had the roads near Padang all sealed up. Even the cab i took only agreed to take me as far as the MRT station near my home. We had a good dinner at Siam Kitchen, a restaurant at the basement of the Suntec fountain. Had a cool buffet spread of 20 courses ... Thai style, mostly spicy. Weehou didn't like it, and the curry stinks. Otherwise, its quite good, to me at least.

We caught our movie a Marina Square. Zengkun bought the tickets before we met, and God knows why he didn't think of buying the tix in the same building we're planning to dine. We watched Batman Begins, and I must say it is seriously one heck of a movie. Im not much of a movie critic, but seldom do i comment that a show is good. In fact, the number of movies which truely impressed me can be counted with one hand ... or two perhaps. Star Wars Episode 3 didn't impress me, the Spiderman series is cool, but I wouldn't say they are too cool...

Anyways, the show rocks, a comic book tale blending into reality. 2 thumbs up for the ride. Anyway, it may be just me .... whatever, the hell i care.

Zengkun, Weilun, Mel and Leck Koon shared a cab home after that. Weehou apparently lost his way around the carpark to find his bike. Only thing he recalled was that he parked near Fish and Co. Its past 12am, and most doors have been locked, and some lifts have been deactivated. The gates to the building interior were shut, and the whole damn place looked like a friggin maze. We navigated through the suntec city carpark from one end to the other. I spent a record breaking half hour walking aimlessly in the stuffy carpark of Suntec City. The animal and colour codes drawn up all over the Suntec carpark are there for a reason, and my advise for all drivers or riders reading this entry, will be to pay attention to them.

12.40am ... we found his bike. Kelvin and myself made our way out of the carpark to the land of the living. Got a cab with a nice Taxi Driver, reached home safely.

I had to be in school by 11am tomorrow. I predict I'll be late...

I hope Im wrong...

The Elusive Reality

2005-06-29T01:02:00.000+08:00

All these years, I have believed in it, the one ture identity which defines it. Since i came to know of its existance, i have always trusted my judgement of its every aspect. It became a familiar symbol of my everyday life ... and yet i erred in my conclusion of its form and identity. The fact in which i placed so much belief in turned out to be untrue, and my entire foundation of trust has been overwhelmed by this error. I hate myself for my lack of judgement skills.... I hate the lies which seemed so much like reality, but is in fact a shimmering illusion. Burdened by the constant pressure and persuasion from the people around me, I finally accepted the alternate verdict. My psychological mindset has been changed drastically, my confidence twarted. The world looked different from the moment on, and bit by bit the alternative reality fits in with my way of life. For the first time in a long while, i begin to doubt myself. I blame myself for making erroneous conclusions without detailed analysis and observation. All these years, I have believe in the wrong thing. I was laughed at by the outside world for my foolishness, and my soul feels tainted.

Im already 22 years old ... and only recently did I come to realise that...

Piyo-Piyo is a duck, not a chicken...

2005-06-25T02:13:00.000+08:00

OK ... that aint my entry.
Im referring to the last post on this blog, that "silly dilly man" thingie.
Apparently, my silly sister (who just returned from Australia) has made an unauthorised entry on my blog when Im showering in the bathroom. Yeah yeah, I didn't really log off my blogspot account when she invaded my room, so that's why.

Technically, I should remove that post, and shouldn't even bother to waste time putting up this post to enlighten everyone. But know wad? Im gonna let the silly dilly post stay down there in this blog. Yeah, for entertainment's sake.

yah ... that'll be cool.

*burp*

-The 12th Avenue-

...

Janus Janus Janus

Rambles

Just Another Post

Ode to Mee Fen

For the Lame and the Bored

Foiled

standing

blue

wealth

Jan 5th

Jan 4th

3rd January

my beloved ...

Happy New Year 2007!!

cryhaven

Ordeal's End

Life

Time Spiral

夜空。希望。翅膀

Realizations

Chow Mugger

Cookbooks by Engineers

Behind Life

满天星

NUSSU PRU

Glorious Food

Jewelled Fragments in Time

Short Discussion on "Bed"

Labs, Booze, and a Bak Chor Mee place

Short Milk Discussion

Singaporean Seafood

Temporal Shifts in the LT

crash

Let's Talk about Life

Mission

Distorting the Truth?

Food Talks

Thursday

Singapore and the Gahmen

Project Can 2006

Cravings

Bad Days

My Ordeal

Withdrawal Symptoms

Blogs and Rantings

Fly FLy aWaY!

Hoot Hoot

Makan Sutra

Shopping!!!

Passage

Japan Hour

Soulz

Im a Whiney cow~

Losing my Focus

Dissonance

Cafe Heaven @ Spinelli !

My "Ideal Major"

Life's 23rd Anniversary

Teary Teary Sky

Happy New Year

Xmas Post

NVAC MINDS Camp 2005

Waltzing the Night II

Waltzing the Night

Cool Movies

What Happens when Janus gets Bored

Night out on the town

Nguyen's hanging, 2nd December

Dumb Service Sector Jokes

Post Exams Log

Dog tired...

Money or Fulfilment

Management and Organisation blues

Programming Lab 6 done !!

Still Programming Lab 6

Programming Lab 6

YIH Study Room ... *love bubbles*

Time Wasting Personality Tests

YIH Study Room ... love bubbles